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Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Waldo?

“Ugh, fuck this..”

~ Zombies on Trying to find Waldo.
404: Waldo Not Found! :(

Wait! Or is he right here? --->________________________________________<--? I guess not.......

Error:Still Not Found

Warning: The Program Has Become Philosophical System.out.println("What Makes You Think You're Going To Find Him?"); [/n]

(look! quick he's getting away!!!!)

(too late....)

Congratulations, you've found Waldo. Now pat yourself on the crotch. (Unless you were already doing that. If you were, try to find Waldo's evil twin.)

Who is Waldo?[edit]

The candy cane man himself.

Waldo's (also known as Wally to British and Old Zealanders) history is somewhat part urban legend and part reality, mainly because the very location of Waldo has never been accurately determined. As one myth goes, Waldo was a soviet spy during WWII, the Cold War, and the moderately Warm War who was entrusted with the task of preoccupying and distracting enemy intel. A second tale depicts this mysterious figure as a prototype for a genetic project by the United States in attempt to create white ninjas inorder to counter the Asian ninja during World War two-and-a-half. The project was deemed a total failure and scrapped after achieving the creation of a perfect white ninja due to the fact that the ninja (Waldo) promtly escaped from the laboratory immediately after his assimilation (after, of course, murdering all of the scientists and destroying any evidence of his existance).

Before he was Waldo, he was an alligator Wally Gator... until he entered Extreme Makeover.

The US government denies this and states that Waldo was "a normal child of NO SIGNIFICANT HISTORY! ever." As their story goes, Waldo was born on the 6th of March, 1962 in Dawn, Oregon. He grew up slowly on his parents’ farm, but in 1972 at the age of five, he left the safety of his parents' breast to find a job. He began working for a paper mill in Washington state in 1975 and became president of the company soon after. He fell in love and later married one of his co workers, Silly Putty, and they had 2 children and one hybrid.

Saracens looking for Waldo.

Disaster struck in 1985 when after an argument with his wife, Waldo tied her to the conveyor belt and shredded the late Ms. Sausage (She returned to her maiden name after being posthumously divorced). Waldo Francis realised he was going to be caught, and had to act quickly. He knew the sentence in Washington for such a crime was death by Weevil, so he went on the run and became a Nurse Joy, just like so many heroes before him. He was promptly pursued by the Central Ignorance Agency.

Where the Government come in[edit]


In 1986, the Reagan administration got so fed up with the CIA's failure to track down Waldo; they decided to opt for a new path. They decided the best way to find Waldo was to set up many cameras around remote, yet highly populated areas in the United States, and then they published these photos in Children’s books. Ronny hoped that these children would be able to find Waldo and bring him to justice.

Unfortunately however, Reagan died, and Waldo still is yet to be caught. The current Federal Government have no ideas. At all.

So...Where IS Waldo?[edit]

You might want to ask the mob... Waldo called Godfather Mario Luigelli "fat", and hasn't been found in a single crowd-scene since...

fuckin hell waldo, give me a challenge, i prefer your cousin wally

- Tom Davies on waldo & wally

See also[edit]

"Finding Waldo" is a international sport with millions of participants worldwide and large sums of money involved. Many have found him but not as easy as John Cena.