Wall-E

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WALL-E's intelligence is way above any human being.

“This movie includes robots”

“WALL-E? ... Nah, never heard about it”

“He's my cousin's, nephew's, brother's son, twice removed”

~ Optimus Prime on how he is related to Wall-e

“I'm sorry captain, I'm afraid I can't do that... ”

~ Auto, on going back to Earth

“EVAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”


EVE in awe.



Origin and Early Life[edit]

WALL-E in "I am WALL-E".
WALL-E in "I, WALL-E".

The legen--wait for it--dar-E story of wall-e starts, as per traditions of the legends, with the depiction of a robot as the sole owner of the whole damn planet! Wether he mess with your bra or feed a cockroach the most creamiest biscuits of cosmos, you ain't no care nor dare for here, wall-e rocks! So, wall-e is the protagonist of the movie. He was made to clean the shit of humanity. People didn't take global warming seriously, so they had just one option left: leave the planet for hundreds of wall-e-z to clean it up for future generations and live in space in spaceships.

Early life[edit]

Wall-E was programmed to clean the earth, but he taught himself to build pile of garbages higher than the empire state building. This, scientists say, was a little bug! In his childhood, he befriended a bug: the cockroach. The cockroach lives with wall-e.....i mean not 'with' him but that they live together....not like a couple, people! like two friends. So, wall-e has a friend, cockroach.

Early in his life, he soon finds that compacting shit can get really boring, so he decides to collect cool and interesting shit from the shit he crushes. Stuff he collects the most are tissues, vaseline, and windshield wipers.

Sexual life[edit]

Just after a short while when the movie starts, wall-e finds a bra. It was then that he came to know of the opposite sex. In the original movie, he is shown to take the bra with him to home to.....

     "what up, dude"
               --Oscar Wilde

Wall-e is often seen watching some kissing and cuddling going on, some kind of robo-porn, i think. Also he is very interested in holding hand of a she robot, eversince he came to know that such exist because of the existance of...well...read the subfield again :)

Throughout the whole film, WALL•E desperately tries to hold EVE's hand, but this isn't for love; it's just a practical joke he decided to play; he really jerks off with that hand . . . and I mean a lot. After 700 friggin' years, you think he's just going to collect shit and compact shit and watch on his shitty BetaMax VHS player all the time? WRONG!

Education[edit]

Wall-e is known to have no detectable knowledge of any areas of humanities, social or natural sciences. So does the producers of the movie. I mean, first wall-e survives a rocket-landing above him, then Eva uses her arms which do not have any physical contact with her body and then the plant which wall-e was carrying survives the weeks and weeks of journey in empty space....i mean, come on, dude!!!!!

Survival of Wall-E[edit]

I,walle1.jpg

WALL-E was the only robot that survived. Why? Most would agree it is because he some how developed a personality. After years of doing what he was built to do he began to think about what he was "meant" to do. Shortly after Earth is visited by a probe and he figures this out <3.

Evenutally, WALL-E became insane, and with the only defence against his attacks, AUTO, disabled by the humans, he began the Last But One Alright Time War.

I.Q.[edit]

Wall-e is known to possess sufficient I.Q. to drive a car, understand a song, build empire state building, befriend a cockroach (which you all know are SOOOOOOOOO intelligent), clean the earth, grow crops, travel in space, replace his own body parts, decorate his homw with bulbs, use a lens to enlarge the screen of an E-pod, differenciate between a fork (NOT f#%k) and a spoon and their crossbreed, record videos, feed a cockroach, SLEEP, recharge himself, throw away a diamond, play laser-taG, hide under a stone.....and the list can go on....but the conclusion....to fall in love!

File Transfer.
An ordinary USB cable.
Firewall deactivated.


Software[edit]

Success!!!.

WALL-E uses a USB cable in order to “transfer files” with EVE. As Norton AntEVErus was outdated by then (and Now) no one knows for sure if WALL-E is immune to old computer viruses or if he could just clean himself. Basicall-E, after being alone 700 years, you should expect to become PR-T horn-E.

WALL-E facts[edit]

Here is a list of various WELL-Known things about him.:

  • WALL-E has got a midichlorian count of OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!.
  • While Optimus Prime can transform into a truck, WALL-E can transform himself into a Cube.
  • He can turn rubbish into square shaped rubbish, and then make towers out of them.
  • He has cool lasers that shoot from his eyes. Really.
  • WALL-E runs on Mac OS 6.5.
  • WALL-E's girl, EVE, runs on Mac OS X.
  • He can beat YOU in Pong.
  • WALL-E has got a big plug.
  • Megatron and General Grievous are jealous of him.
  • WALL-E doesn't speak. He kills.
  • WALL-E and Eva own a Karaoke Bar in Springfield, Oregon
  • WALL-E has had lunch with Ismael.
  • WALL -E is a modified gamecube from wall mart
  • The other robots didn't break down. WALL-E's obsession with playing music annoyed them so much that they all committed suicide.
  • EVE's part time job on the Axiom before WALL•E was a prostitute. She charged way too much though.