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“I shot a Wallet with a B.B. gun once. It gave me the finger and flew off.”

~ Somebody on shooting a Wallet.
A wild Wallet in flight!
A gentleman, hunting Wallets.

The Wallet is a wild, angry bird creature of death, similar to the unicorn and liger. Rumors used to tell of the Wallet flying over towns and villages and swooping up the banks with his large talons. However, this is untrue, because Wallets are not Jewish, they are Mormon.

Physical Features[edit]

The Wallet is basically summarized, physically, as being a flight-capable creature with large underbelly pouches, much like marsupials, and having two large wings.

Their skin however, varies between species, but the most common texture is that of or similar to leather.

It is guessed that their large pouches are for storing bling-bling, business cards, and portraits of distant family members.

More on The Wallet[edit]

Diet and Habitat[edit]

The diet of the Wallet is a very healthy one, consisting of plenty of green. It typically eats all forms of currency, but has also been known to consume Japanese children in large numbers.

The Wallet mostly lives in the back pocket. However, by mistake, the Wallet can also be found in the washing machine. For the most part, they are motile creatures.

The Purse[edit]

Most of the world fears the Wallet, especially the Japanese. The only known predator to the Wallet is the Purse.

The Purses and the Wallets have been in a bloody battle since the beginning of time. Battles between factions usually start when Wallets roam in a Purse's territory. From here, the Purse retaliates by completely annihilating the Wallet for no apparent reason, as Purses are not territorial creatures.

Wallet Hunting[edit]

However, in recent years, man has enjoyed the sport of Wallet Hunting. It's much like other forms of bird hunting, only the rifle is replaced by a missile, preferably fired by a Stinger launcher.

The wings are typically the point of target, but it's not uncommon for the entire Wallet to be targeted, and consequently, blown to hell. Another difference between Wallet Hunting and other types of bird hunting is that the Wallet is not taken as a prize, nor eaten; it's left for the Purses.

See also[edit]