Wankel rotary engine

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Wankel Rotary Engine.

“Worth four strokes any day”

~ Noel Coward on Wankel Rotary Engine

The Wankel Rotary Engine works off the principle of "This thing's gotta fucking work" technology, wherein the engine feeds off the whole of the universe, spins around it, and spits it out exactly where it started.

We Love the Yangtse[edit]

John Candy describing location of the engine:The engine itself

Douglas Addams inadvertently built the first Wankel Rotary Engine in 1953, while fixing his broken homemade inflatable doll. When the being known as Don Knotts electro-beamed him and his inflatable doll, the device was bent around the subether boundary. This caused the inflatable doll to violently spin about a 5 dimensional axis, enabling it to self-power and suck all the universe into it. We all now exist inside the Wanker hole of the inflatable doll, around the back where the power cord is.

Are You Embarrassed Easily?[edit]

Subsequent engines have been produced since "Bob's" in 1953. One was created inside the Space Shuttle in 1993. Two were made inside the rectum of John Candy, but they were so close together that they sucked each other in. This caused the destruction of Mr. Candy and all of St. Paul, Minnesota.

Also note that the phrase Wankel rotary engine is not to be laughed at. It is not a funny phrase, and really you're being too childish. The wankel...phht!...rotary engine will cause the end of all existence. A far funnier word is NIPPLES, Wang or maybe ASSHAT. Also, please do not be embarrassed by the sexy, gyrating movements of the pistons to the right.

Wanker Engine Clubs[edit]

The RX7 Club was started at the dawn of the second world war in Great Britan, and although they are accredited with naming the engine; they had first named it the "Wanker" engine, but sadly that had not gained much acceptance in British society outside of the pubs and strip clubs. On an even sadder note, they were a club that had formed around an engine (and subsequently a car) that had not yet been invented (please see above entry). They would sit around each evening as Hitler's Luftwaffe would rein bloody hell upon their heads and dream of what the wanker... er- wankel engine would be like when it was finally conceived. Since the war in Europe was getting to be a drag, they moved the club to Japan, where unfortunately, war also broke out. After a few months in Japan, the Japanese invaded them killing and torturing many members that offered resistance. The club surrendered to the Japanese on July 1, 1942 and the Japanese quickly installed a bloodthirsty despot named Mazda Miata to oversee the club's activities.

See Also[edit]