War on some drugs

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Mother Nature's finest herb in a bottle.

“If the Socialism is Authoritarian; if there are Governments armed with economic power as they are now with political power; if, in a word, we are to have Industrial Tyrannies, then the last state of man will be worse than the first.”

~ - Oscar Wilde, The Soul of a Man under Socialism.

Complex History of the Drug War[edit]

More correctly labelled the "War on SOME people who use SOME drugs" because of the utter lack of understanding of the disambiguation of the alphabetical word "drugs". We all know that weed and shrooms are not drugs but ancient extraterrestrial devices for increasing penis size. The drug war has a complex of origins most of which seem to revolve around a silly brawl in the back garden of a man called Adam somewhere on earth yonks ago. The scrap included a China man, an American secret service agent and some German pharmaceutical representatives and it soon spread right around the world like Nike, into every street, every city and every nation state. Paralizing many. The squabble allegedly began over a cup of sugar which Adam borrowed from a neighbour for an Apple pie he was baking for his wife. Due to the scarcity of sugar at that time and the tiny size of the pie a fight broke out over who had the divine rights to the last slice.

The fighting between Adam and his greedy guests for this extra slice of the pie has been shown to be an illuminating comparison with the tag-team wrestling match known as the Union of Jesus Christ and his rag bag of fruit cakes, with the justified Kitchen of Jesus Christ (the Church itself), where all the divine cooking and alchemy take place. The fight in Adam's back garden soon turned into a street riot as prophets and charlatans emerged from their caves and castles in far off lands to begin their journey to holy Mcdonalds town and towards the famous street where THE drug war really got cooking: Nixon street. The physical violence soon subsided and thereof began a series of flaming speeches and philosophical discourses about sugar, coffee, crack cocaine and Holy wine. But under the influence of Adam's apple pie some of the Nixon street riot squad jumped the gun a bit and started spouting {{Q|It was God who was ultimately responsible in His sovereign plan for the death of Jesus Christ and his holy cakes!| - Porridge 3:33, and once a butcher heard a Nixon goon shout:

“This is it! She is part of my own pie and fish!”

~ - Genesis 2:23

By the end of the first day the apple-pie had been magically transmuted into lamb chops and the word of God had become the word of whoever could get onto the microphone and shout the loudest and most convincingly, hence the policy of prohibition was set in motion and the drug war escalated like Imperialism itself. The global corporate advertisers used awful horror stories using Mr. T, Keith Moon and Nancy Reagan as dogmatic magical icons and twisted truth serums to interfere with the production and distribution of an untaxed substance to the extent that soon the total cost to the end user far exceeded the value of the damn product itself - much like the strategic methods of corporate transnational finance capitalism; resulting in a widespread discontinuation of use through either starvation, murder, suicide or overdose. This technique proved to be fantastic for television ratings as many of the most popular T.V shows seem to involve drug addicts or drug criminals mixed with faith-based systems, pornography, evangelism and phallocentricism. After all, to see fools die and suffer like that, well, it was a new emerging global market. By using drugs and drug users as scapegoats for violence, terrorism, revolutionary movements and existential philosophy men like George W Bush and Cliff Richard can contiune playing golf with the heads of a generation trapped in a dark neverending vagina. A neverending replay of the Holy sacrifice of a sick Junky to one big drunken God. What started as a back garden brawl soon managed to swell and mutate into a world around menace threatening all life on earth like ABBA - the war on drugs at gateway leading to the more dangerously addictive war on YOBS, Jobs and BOB.



The drug war has had many memorable battles and pivotal historical events, yet there is one side of writers from around the hexagonal war on some drugs who refute historicism as a rose petal floating in the winds of recorded human experience. Still...some important major battles of particular importance relating to the wars waged upon some people who use some drugs;:

The battle of Cloneturf[edit]

1966: Cocaine kings or Flouridoor successfully turned over a 7000 acre Marijuana plantation belonging to the kind tribe of riverside heights, burning the devil weed while dancing to D'ream. The kind tribe were tried by the Coke inquisition and all but one sentenced to death by lethal injection, administered by the King and anesthetist of the Heron islands - Czar Jeremy Needle.

1973 Serotonin Crisis[edit]

A worldwide huge and exciting battle for the economic monopoly of the means to the regulation of body temperature, mood, sleep, emesis (vomiting), sexuality and appetite. The crisis was resolved by a disorganization of elves who managed to neurotransmit themselves into the DNA matrix of nature and prevent any illusion within homosapiens that they could regulate their own nervous systems and neurochemical laboratories. The company that wanted to remove serotonin from all human brains - newscop - finally backed down and decided against this because of a sudden interest in playing chess, fly fishing and fertility Goddess worship.

(Infant Serotonin Electroshock treatment made possible by Western Economic monoploly on pain ).

The Battle for Lou's Green[edit]

(1966) A terrible bloody terrible massacre that started off as a peaceful music concert and hippy trade fair, apparently though according to eye witness reports, one wicked band played a revolutionary ballad - "Lou's Green" which was explicitly making fun of alcohol and alcoholics, 10 minutes later a posse of meat and sugar fiends exploded snail bombs at the concert, melting the faces clean off of some 30 poor party ravers. With news of this eventually reaching local psychoactive mafia syndicates such as Psycho Mario's and The Hallucination Assassins a gun battle broke our on bush Boulavard between the groups. 10'000 innocent men women and children were killed, but not by either of the original meat and sugar or the Psycho Mario groups because they were using paint guns, but the murder was committed by the local crack commando squadron (Nobel warrior monks for Jesus and shopping) who had become so overly paranoid through constant subjection to many artificially sweetened white and Speedy intelligence reports that they, without thinking as human beings, carried out the orders like machines to fire at will upon any drug party with signs of violence and dancing combined. Or paint ball games without a license from the State department. The remaining Hallucination Assassins eventually claimed the ballad "Lou's Green" as their anthem in their struggle against the Crack Commando's and crystal clan intelligence agents.

Iron Triangle War[edit]

(Ongoing) Over 2 Billion people or half people half non-believers died in this holy unholy clash between sombunall of the different drug groups such as the crackers, Bong freaks, whiskey swillers, Cigar barons and LSD spies. The Iron Triangle war was fought over a small iron triangle believed to have been played by a real Angel at a public concert held in Guatamala. Billions under the influence began to believe this yarn and rumors spread of the pinging sound from this divine triangle, and the total rapture launched you off the planet, out and over, you could sail off into the stars, just by hearing this ping sound. It had healing powers beyond human medicine and was proven to cure the classic drug psychosis. One day replicas would be available by mail order, and this led to a trade war between Europe and America and China over who was goind to manufacture and distribute the Iron triangle. On Jan 6th 1999 a stoned official at the U.S department of homeland insecurity accidentally fell asleep at his desk and slipped on the big RED button that launched nukes to China, and that's how 2 Billion died, horribly of radioactive drugs over a silly little Iron triangle.

Perpetual Poppy war[edit]

(3000 B.C) With no clear ending or conditions.

100 Grams War[edit]

Clandestine Jesuit controlled armed forces were hired by the King of Europe to eradicate coca and fight left-wing guerrillas at a beach resort in blackpool.

Mold war[edit]

(1969) Small proxy war, a cuddly war between Siberian shamans of the Atum group and mechanical speed freaks of the war means peace Corporation. The major world powers provided aids to various local factions engaged in so-called wars of national drug liberation. Bruce Springsteen sings in coded language about the Mold war in his classic hit: Born in the U.S.A [citation needed.]

Drug war on Terrorism[edit]

(1947) A never ever neverending campaign loop to get all of civilization addicted to one drug or another, manufactured by Mcdonalds to suppress any terrorist tendencies such as establishing local trade and industry foundations based on research and not faith. Fought and created by the Cocaine Intelligence Agency in 1947 which at that time consisted of a small group of impotent Nazi's (212) who wanted to be like Scarface, the Pope and Elvis all at once.

“What means other than drug war could there be under capitalism to overcome the disparity between the development of productive forces and the accumulation of capital on the one side, and the division of colonies and spheres of influence for finance capital on the other?”

~ - Carl Kautski

See Also[edit]