Washington Monument

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Quite a bit smaller in-person

The Washington Monument is a monument named after Washington, in Washington. Did we mention it's a monument?

It is an obelisk built in the late 1800s and took approximately 50 years to build (quite a feat considering it is only as tall as a 5-foot man). It is visited by millions of tourists annually who have nothing better to do than eat Doritos and watch Judge Judy.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Washington Monument.


There are various competing hypotheses over its intended purpose. Some experts believe that it could have been built to:

  • Serve as a large dildo for Paris Hilton.
  • Serve as a landmark for passing terrorist flight hijackers.
  • Serve as a sundial for when America runs out of electricity.
  • According to Peter Griffin it looks like a giant penis.
  • Some also say that it might be a tribute to Bill Clinton

See also[edit]