“I am a computer technician.”
Water Computers use miniature hydroelectric dams to generate computing power. There's a one gallon reservoir of demonically-charged water at the top, which drains through a turbine with 450,000 balsa woods (for lightness and cost) blades. This results in 50 megajoules to power the cpu. The water, now being completely spent, must be recharged with demonic energy before being pumped back to the reservoir. There's more than enough energy coming from the turbine to perform the pumping action; the demonic energy, though, requires the collection tank to be placed in front of a TV where Dick Cheney is giving a speech. A one hour Cheney speech contains enough demonic energy to charge 5 gallons of water. Hillary is desert.
The water computer was first envisioned by the late Horacio Blanco just 8 weeks prior to his birth. Considered a late bloomer in the arena of demonically-charged water power (DCWP), the then unnamed Sharpton fetus drew up blueprints for a DCWP handheld calculator. These plans passed through the amniotic barrier and were eventually excreted in the stool of the mother. Walmart soon caught wind of the plans and had 100,000 of these calculators manufactured in China, but they proved to be poor sellers due to the weight of the water tank. After growing to a weight of 235 lbs outside the womb some forty years later, the then-named Reverand Al went back to his origins and drew up plans for the DCWP computer (which were again excreted through his mother's stool). Now manufactured by Philip Morris, these computers have been a major hit, particularly in parts of the Republican world where water and Dick Cheney speeches are common.
Water computers are based on the laws of New Math. They have been known to figure out what Obama's change means as well as the meaning of the Universe and everything in it. A few studies have shown that water computers can be used to simulate global warming because of the high humidity and the heat Oscar Wilde's passionate existence in their cases. Everyone knows that water makes up only 96% of greenhouse gases.