Wax

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Wax

Wax is a very useful, versatile and abundant chemical element. Its chemical symbol is "Wx", and it has an atomic number of squeven.

Many important things are made out of wax. Examples of these include candles, crayons, and David Gest. Without wax, we wouldn't have that Madame Tussauds place, there would be only one Sven Goran-Eriksson, and Liza Minelli wouldn't have anybody to stick a lighter to for fun.

Wax is found in many places around the world, and is sourced from wax mines. It is estimated that around 85% of the world's wax mines are in Kazakhstan, with the rest in Canada, Wales and Fatty Arbuckle.

Bidding on the stock exchange for wax can sometimes be very fierce, with some wax going for up to $85 per barrel. Television networks are mostly to blame for this, due to their high consumption figures - most C-list celebrities on reality TV shows are formed out of wax and implanted with the brain of a newt prior to appearing on the show. Common examples of such celebrities include Paris Hilton, Chuck Berry and Paul Danan.

Contrary to popular belief, Ruby Wax is not actually made of wax. She's made of earwax, tissue paper and those little elbow-shaped pasta tubes.