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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Wedgie.

A wedgie is a type of exercise done by women and gay men that, when performed regularly, can give you a tight, firm ass that will drive men in the pub wild. Scientific research also suggests that it can widen your anus if done repeatedly. This goal is most often set by gay men, to make it easier for their partners to penetrate them during butt sex. However, some lesbian women find large buttholes attractive, and much easier to lick.

How To Perform A Wedgie[edit]

To give a wedgie, first grab the back of your tighty-whiteys, and give them a good tug. Feel like theres something being shoved up your ass crack? Then you know you're doing it right. Women who do this may also feel sexually aroused, as if they are having a penis pushed up their butthole. Because of this, you may orgasm at some point during this exercise. If this happens, just toss the soiled undies in the laundry, and put on a new pair. Now hold onto the back of your underwear for as long as you can, then let go. Repeat this process for about seven hours, and then you are finished for the day. Do this exercise daily, and you'll have a nice ass in no time.

women sometimes feel arouse if you give them a frontal wedgie. (this is like a wedgie but you pull it at the front insted). I did this to my girlfriend, i think she orgasmed, but she slapped me afterwoulds (probably coz i did it in front of her friends).

What To Do If Your Panties Are All Stretched Out[edit]

Buy a new pair. Because you are now aware that this can happen, you can't sue me if it does. So hardy har har to you, you stupid bastard.

I Lost My Dildo Up My Newly Enlarged Ass Crack![edit]

“I said that!

~ Tamia

If your sex toy becomes lost in your sea of crack, first, try to reach in and pull it out. If it's too far in to reach, you may require medical attention. Dial 911 and tell the operator you were in a freak sex accident. He/she will know what to do.

See also: