Welcome to the NHK

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Welcome to the NHK is a high budget docu-drama based on the life of the world's greatest japanese secret agent, Kaoru Yamazaki, specifically his battles against the evil broadcast TV company, NHK. Yamazaki is portrayed quite acurrately as the coolest person ever. Other minor characters include his stoner buddy from high school, the chick who is actually a rival secret agent, the other woman that is totally insane, and the third girl that lies to everyone.

Summary[edit]

One day, Yamazaki's crazy apartment neighbor/old friend/partner in crime, Tatsuhiro Sato, thinks that pudding is chasing after him. In reality, Sato is just insane because he smokes way too much crack. After Sato is done screaming horribly, a nun suddenly attacks him. (This time it's for real) The nun's apprentice, a seemingly charming girl name Misaki Nakahara, apparently falls for Sato. Sato is completely oblivious to this and would rather smoke and look at porn then interact with other human beings, proving that he is a horrible person. In actually, Misaki is a secret agent for the NHK, an evil broadcast TV company after nothing less then world domination. To distract Yamazaki and Sato from the NHK's evil plans, Misaki begs them to make a hentai game for her. Because they are so nice, they do so. But to the NHK's dismay, Sato's old dealer Sempai appears. She explains NHK's plans to Sato, who tells Yamazaki. Together, they storm the NHK's headquarters. Inside they meet Sempai again, and she reveals that she is actually the leader of the NHK. She only told her plans to Sato because she is crazy and does stuff like that. Misaki arrives and they have a climactic battle envolving martial arts, magic powers, and bad cosplay. Just before Yamazaki deals the final blow to Sempai Nanako, Yamazaki's friend from college, appears and claims that she loves him. This is a lie, but it distracts Yamazaki enough for Sempai to kill him. Sato bravely fights on after the death of his comrade, but he gets the munchies and leaves. Thus the NHK takes over the world after renaming itself the UN.

Characters[edit]

Yamazaki[edit]

Yamazaki reveals his most powerful form!

Also known as the coolest guy ever, Yamazaki has every pwning power in the universe. His most notable power is Eroge, where he spontaneously produces a pornographic video game from out of thin air. He is also well known for having every anime figurine known to mankind, which is the height of coolness in Otaku culture. His familiarity with anime and nerdness in general qualified him for super-duper secret agent status, but being the humble person he is he only accepted secret agent status. He is also the queen of GAR.

Sato[edit]

Yamazaki's old buddy from high school. He smokes crack 24/7, and enjoys talking to his furniture. Sato is famous for owning 1/10th of the world's total porn. He occasionly suggests he and Yamazaki take up crossdressing. His fighting technique is bad cosplay.

Misaki[edit]

A young secret agent sent by the NHK to distract Yamazaki and Satou. She has a magic notebook that kills anyone whose name is written inside, which she vehemently claims wasn't stolen from Death Note. Her fingers are weapons (which she also uses to kill people).

Sempai[edit]

A drug dealer who is the leader of the NHK and believes everything is the fault of the vice president and his secret squad of secret monkey ninja secret... things. She talks in rhyme and commits suicide regularly.

Nanako[edit]

An escaped psych ward patient who thinks she is the voice of a magical witch. She lies to everyone, all the time.

Trivia[edit]

  • In episode 37.5, it is revealed that Misaki is actually a man, Sato is actually a woman, and Sempai is Chuck Norris's younger sister.
  • Chuck Norris jokes are stupid.
  • In the series, Sato's porn collection is extensively toned down. In real life, he actually owned one third of the total world porn(TWP).
  • The actors portraying Yamazaki and Sato are Terri Hatcher and Nicolas Cage's twin brother from an alternate dimension, respectively. Halfway through the series, Terri Hatcher was fired for working on Desperate Housewives. No replacement actor has been found, the creators have resorted to animatronics and reusing old footage.
  • Yamazaki's older brother, Jesus, was removed from the series just before production.