Wes Borland

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Wes Borland
Happy yet creepy Wes with his KoRn dawg: Jonny
Happy yet creepy Wes with his KoRn dawg: Jonny
Lifespan 1975-4002
Occupations Guitarist, Cop Killah, Puppet Masta'
Birthplace KoRn Fields, California
Conquered Lands United Spades Of Amerika, Indiana, Darkness


Wes is one of the few surviving Children Of The KoRn, as he was born not only, in KoRn fields, but was made from when two members of KoRn had you-know-what. He then moved to Jacksonville, where he met childhood hero Michael Jackson. Since Korn lost their popularity, his parents went bankrupt and somehow he ended up on the tough streets of Compton. When he was 15, he was on Oprah's show, which awakened the evil inside him. He became a wanted criminal, the best out there was, as he had the powah to kill cops in 2 seconds. The year after he worked at a bar called 'The Pooey' he met a young boy called Samuel Rivers. They made love and Wes gave bird a child called Fred Durst, The baby had a curious case and was born old as fuck. They then decided to create a band. They made Limp Bizkit, after the original members left, he then left Limp in 2001, citing scaring the crap out of differences with the band. He became famous for his unusually large pupils which are shown in the picture to the right.


Wes after surgery

Knowing Limp was the only living he had, Wes went to a counciler to rid him of his evil thoughts, when that was sucessful, he went to get eye surgery, the results were sucessful, and now he is as normal as That Guy.


Wes is a much happier person today, he joined back with LImp two years ago, and he has a couple of side projects, but who cares about that. Wes still doesn't quite understand what the derivation of the band names is, but loves these crackers with mayonnaise everyone keeps giving him.


Wes with his new Jedi clothes and trusty cliche droid companion R2-D2

In 2025, Wes began to study the ways of the force to combat Oprah and her evil Sith army. In 2026, he was appointed Jedi Knight by Oscar Wilde.

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