What the Rock is Cooking

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Originally mentioned on the Dead Sea Scrolls with the elusive phrase "Inhale nasally the scent of The Rock's culinary mastery" (translated from it's original language of COBOL, scholars would debate for centuries what The Rock was cooking. This information was finally discovered in the eighth century CE by the Knights of Malta and hidden away for centuries. Eventually, all knowledge held within the Dead Sea Scrolls was lost from common knowledge, and the mystery of what The Rock is cooking fell to the ages. Then, in 1982, John Romero uncovered the hidden tomb of the Knights while trying to invent the Flux Capacitor. Intrigued by his find, he decided to use Al Gore's new invention, the computer, to program a game that would reveal the answer to the mystery of the ages:

Excerpt from Commander Keen[edit]

  • You have entered a dark place, it is likely you will be eaten by a a Balrog.
> look
> talk the rock
  • The Rock turns its head towards you. "Can you sah-mell! What The Rock! Is cooooooking?" he bellows at you.
> smell the rock
> smell grill
  • You can't smell that
> smell what the rock is cooking
  • The rock is cooking bacon.
  • Stirred by your olfactory curiosity, a Balrog eats you.