Why?:The Whimsical World of Freedom of Expression

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A long time ago, in a far away crater...
Once upon a time, in The Whimsical World of Freedom of Expression...

There were a handful of...[edit]

...jolly, smiling Saudi Arabians, who wanted to make a statement! After putting their thinking caps on, they came up with the greatest, bestest plan ever! By blowing up two towers and a section of a pentagonal shaped building with airplanes, they just knew they'd get their point across! They just knew it! "We don't want America messing with the Middle East. America sucks.", and in advance, they sent a friendly letter to their favorite President in the world, trying ever so hard to make themselves clear!


Dubya tried to grasp the message, but all he could hear was the word "nucular".

...silly old Dubya misinterpreted their statement as saying, "Please conquer a couple Middle Eastern countries for great justice. Also, we have Weapons of Mass Destruction!" Old George got so scared, he had to call his buddies for help! Dick, Tony, Don and his chocolate friend Colin came as fast as they could, to find out what was the matter! After Georgie told them about the letter, they rushed off so quick he didn't have time to tell them that they were going the wrong way!

Ol' Dick...[edit]

...rounded up the gang, and wasted no time heading to the magical land of Mesopotamia! When he got there, he saw that the people were sad. Old Dick didn't like that one bit! He decided that they were going to give the natives presents to make them feel better! "I am certain we will be greeted as liberators.", he enthusiastically told Rummy and Colin as he prepared even more gifts for a needy country. But there was a grumpy old man who didn't like this! Alas, he didn't approve of Old Dicky's charity, not at all! It's a good thing that Dick and Crazy Saddy were able to talk it out, otherwise everyone would be oh so sad!

Saddam's best friend Osama...[edit]

"You meanie infidels!"

...thought Georgie, Dicky, and Tony were trying to push Saddam around, though! "The Infidel Zionist Bush has declared his own heathen fatwa upon the 1st Amendment rights of all citizens.", Silly 'Sama shouted in a strongly worded video for Georgie, expressing his sadness about all those Americans in his home.

But now that...[edit]

...America has stopped all the mean bullies in the Middle East, some silly Arabs are making a statement by blowing themselves up. Can you believe that? The statement these kooky-headed Arabs are trying to make is something like "I can't live in a world controlled by America! America are big meanies! ~Whine!~ ~Whine!~ ~Whine!~ I'm going to kill fellow Muslims so they get in Heaven faster! ~Whine!~ ~Whine!~ ~Whine!~" But that, children, is a tale for another time...

And that...[edit]

...is why crazy people shouldn't be allowed freedom of expression.

Did you like the story, kids? No? Oh well. Sleep tight, and don't let the crazy people bite... or you could become crazy too!


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