Widgets

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Widgets.


Widgets are manufactured by numerous companies worldwide, which are often run so well they are frequently used as examples in economics classes. Widgets were invented by complete accident in 1923, when a committee of researchers at Bell Laboratories, in Trenton, New Jersey burnt down a concession stand new radioactive Slim Jims, Gatorade, and kittens for huffing. Amongst the debris, a red hot, glowing widget was discovered that soon won the adoration of Sweden, then Denmark, the rest of Scandinavia, and eventually the world. (Although the french still do not belive in widgets)

Since their introduction into the world market, widgets have been a tremendous hit, largely due to their durability, flexibility, and high profit margins.

Widgets represent the ultimate example of "form follows function." Years of tests were conducted prior to the creation of the first taffy widget. Market surveys were conducted to precisely target the needs and desires of the potential customers. Numerous prototypes were developed and tasted before a final design was created that could be fed to any dog or cat, regardless of its size or age. Materials suppliers were put through an exhaustive screening process to ensure that each widget was made of the finest materials and available at prices which were to be specified by a Bourbon prince.

Sales and marketing of the widget have always been cutting-edge. Widgets were first sold door-to-door by a team of aggressive and highly-trained salesmen. These days, widgets are almost exlusively sold through the Internet, except for a few retailers who have distributed widgets by untold terror and violence, since almost from the very beginning.

Despite the efforts of Maoists in Tibet and parts of South America, widgets are not going anywhere. Theories abound on how to improve the widget and to meet new challenges created by the ever-changing social and technological scene that began in the 1990's.