Wilde:Fietsnerd

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search


The Fietsnerd (bicycle nerd) is a historical Dutch figure, whose mostly unknown origins have been a cause for much speculation. He was supposedly born around the year 10 AD, near the small town of Maarssen, which didn't exist at that time. At the age of 21 he is said to have gone on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. When he finally arrived, after about 2 years, he decided to enter a local pub to relax a little. At the time it was customary to give pilgrims free beer, which led to the Fietsnerd getting totally wasted, near the point of alcohol poisoning. In a state of total confusion, the Fietsnerd walked out of the pub, only to get caught up in a huge crowd, cheering for some hippie guy carrying a wooden cross. Thinking it was some kind of game, the Fietsnerd made his way through the crowd and shouted that he could do a lot better at carrying the cross than the hippie guy, and that he was willing to bet on it. The crowd went wild at his proposal, all waiting eagerly for a chance to make some money. While the guards were busy keeping the crowd at a distance, the Fietsnerd walked to the hippie guy and ordered him to hand over the cross, while waving his arms around like an idiot. The hippie replied by saying something about a reward from his father, but the Fietsnerd was too busy entertaining the crowd to hear the full reply. The last thing the Fietsnerd remembered from that day, is seeing the hippie guy transform into a giant hankerchief and fly away. Some time later, the Fietsnerd woke up in a cave with a huge hangover. When he exited the cave, he saw a brand new bicycle standing next to a deserted palm tree. From that day on, the Fietsnerd rode his bike wherever he went.

Some say he stopped aging that day in Jerusalem, and that he still rides the streets of his birthtown today, only visible to those who really believe.

File:Fietsnerd1.jpg