Wiltshire

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Gandalf on one of his many visits to Wiltshire

Wiltshire is the long time descendant of 'The Shire' from what was middle earth. The hobbits have since confined themselves to towns such as Devizes, where they spend their days in hiding. It alone stood free from the shadow sauron had cast upon the land from his lair in the East, London.

Towns, villages and interesting shrubbery[edit]

Trowbridge - see Poland

Westbury - Contains a strong BNP following thanks to the close proximity of the white (not black or asian) horse.

Melksham - Few have been there and lived to tell the tale, most likely due to it containing George Ward School

Calne - Crime capital of the world.

Swindon - The Magic Kingdom in Disney is twinned with the Tragic Kingdom of Swindon.

Chippenham -A key part of Wiltshire with a rich history and future. Named by a Baker who loved their chips and ham from a guy called Sam. Okay, fine it's a rotting pile of crap.

Salisbury Plain - Experimental prototype war tractors are developed here, their existence top secret.

Malmesbury - It is recommended to avoid this place once a month (unless you like wrinkly genitals), as it is probably Naked Day. This is the truth.

Stonehenge[edit]

Wiltshire is home to a set of large stones dumped randomly in a field by no one in particular. Few understand it's significance, and even fewer care. However, it is used as bait to draw in gullible Americans and Asians, who stand around photographing it in the rain and visiting it at strange times in the morning. Occasionally, the residents of Wiltshire come round for a laugh, just to see their reactions.