Windows Live Search

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“There is absolutely no reason why Windows Live Search should be compared to Google. It is a completely different thing... no, really.”

~ Steve Ballmer on Windows Live Search

“Whaf whaf whaf whaf. whaf meow! whaf whaf whaf. Whaf MSN bad bad bad, Meow treat meow treat whaf.”

~ Pluto on Everything
The brand new Windows Live Search is heralded as the most unusual search engine on the internet.
Bouncywikilogo2.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Windows Live Search.

Windows Live Search was originally a measure put into place by Microsoft to improve employee morale by implementing easy access to hardcore pornography. The success of the idea was so widely acknowledged that Microsoft launched it onto the internet. Windows Live Search is the long-awaited successor to MSN Search, which incidentally is often mistaken for the Yahoo! search engine.


Features[edit]

Internet[edit]

Marketed by Microsoft as "the new way to file lawsuits," the Internet feature of Windows Live Search has enjoyed all-round success from its launch, with over nine people a day using Windows Live Search for this feature alone.gfhghgjh fuck you

Images[edit]

The aforementioned success at Microsoft HQ was largely due to this feature, which – unlike any search engine before it – is capable of displaying images that are completely irrelevant to your search term, displaying rude, explicit content for searches such as My Little Pony and The Sun. It has also received high commendation from the Internet Explorer development team for refusing outright to display transparent PNG images.

Despite these universally appealing features, the image search feature has been widely criticized for filtering out search terms such as Linux and freedom in developing countries such as America.

The real Live search[edit]

  • 1. Go to live.com
  • 2. type javascript:var i=-1;function de(){i=i+1;document.images[i].src="http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/5/51/Google.png";}; void(setInterval(de,1)); in the addressbar
  • 3. Hahaha!

Newspeak[edit]

Microsoft's new work in progress is an innovative language that is designed to make English 14% easier to recognise in Vista's speech recognition software/ PC bug. They are presently compiling a dictionary of their words and this BETA feature has been implemented to "allow people to come to terms with the inevitable."

   v  d  e
Windows Live Search is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.