Winx Club

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A boy watching Winx Club

“My 5 year old daughter watches Winx Club, and she already knows what orgasm is and how to get it!”

~ Worried Mom on Winx Club

“Fucking whores stole my audiences!”

~ Kim Possible on Winx Club

“We got canceled for more of this?!”

~ the girls from Mew Mew Power on Winx Club

“What kinda drugs were we takin'?”

~ 4Kids on Winx Club

Winx Club (W.C.) is a badly animated tv series produced by Mussolini as an attempt to teach a lesson to the Pope and his anti-condom policy. The main theme of this show is the Winx Club (this series has such an original name doesn't it?), an organization of fairies who compete with the witches in the prostitution business.

Synopsis[edit]

As explained before, it is mainly a cartoon about psychadelic fairies with very pointy breasts and badly drawn legs that fly around with mosquitto wings. It is mainly set in a parallel universe where there is a stupid planet (Your anus) which nobody knows where it is. In that world there are only three schools and a town. There is absolutely nothing more.

Alfea[edit]

The school of the fairies. It is a filthy and dirty brothel were young girls are forced to sell their bodies for cash. Despite being a "school", no one learns anything useful there, and as such everyone skips classes to have lesbian sex.

Red Fountain[edit]

Another brothel, this time floating in the air for no obvious reason other that its owner's (an old fart of a pervert) flatulence. It is the school of the "specialists", which aren't actually specialists in anything. In fact they are effeminate boys that fight with plastic swords that don't really cut anything, as other wise they wouldn't be able to put them in their asses.

Cloudtower[edit]

An emo lesbian dark room inhabited by the rivals of the fairies, the Frix (otherwise known as W.I.T.C.H.). These suffer from an inferiority complex, as, not matter how much they deny it, they are exactly the same shit as fairies are, only that they lack mosquito wings and don't use the Enchantix crap.

Magix Vagi[ni]x[edit]

Basically any Christian's worse nightmare: a city of whoredom. 99,999% shanty town, everything is legal there. Favourite activities include nudism, sex with dragons, drugs, etc. The series was entirely shot here (and later edited with GIMP, so it looks like a cartoon) and afterwards it aired on 4Kids, and since then the Winx have been controlling children with their pr0n.

Characters[edit]

Winx[edit]

  • Broom: Not to be mistaken for an object. She is the pathetic leader of the Winx. Having her alcoholic parents leaving her on Earth, she was raised by a couple of pedophiles. Eventually she left them after she saw Stella fucking a troll. Since then she has won the Alfea awards of best blowjob, best handjob and best menstruation on a costumer. Her power is the Anus Flame, a power that she got from "'Puff the Magic Dragon"'. It is so powerful that every episode of this shit is about someone fucking her ass in the hopes of stealing it. The only result so far were burned penises however. She has something to do with Bloo the imaginary friend In the end, she is just a completely useless fuck who can't manage to do shit and is a sadistic bitch who supports Hitler. Not to mention an evil ginger!

Powers: Anus Flame, Dragon's Fart, Fire Shit, Crapy Fire (a stupid fire that doesn't even burn paper, just fairies, specialists and W.I.T.C.H.), cunt lava

  • Stella: The second in comand. Originally she was a guy, but he wanted to much to be a fairy that he became one, and now he (or she?) fights with his/her staff (a plastic dildo shaped scepter) and his/her "big staff". As a result for all of this, his/her father disowned him/her, and married a bitch with a spoiled daughter that is jealous of Stella's cock. He/she raped them all. She/he is also the sluttiest of the group.

Powers: Cock Slap, Ocean of Sperm (sea-men), Orgy of the Sun and Moon

...
  • Musa Mula: The fairy of the musical bad taste. A star in High School Musical, she shits out sounds waves that bring down most enemies. They are also responsible for making her father's penis explode, as well as her mother's slow and painful death by internal bleeding. Loud bitch!

Powers: Funk Fuck, High School Musical Soundtrack, Very Loud Fart, Justin Bieber Expolsion!, Rebbecca Black bitch slap

  • Flora: The fairy of environmental destruction. Having cleared huge extensions of rainforest she converted those terrains into drug plantation farms, planting mainly cannabis and hallucinogenic mushrooms which are sold across the country by her favourite drug dealer, Napoleon. She may also rely on the other fairies to do that, but she avoids as much as she can, as they often use the drugs themselves. She also had a psychedelic little sister, which died of candy overdose. She is also an emo flower-loving hippie.
Frola and Mula

Powers: Marijuana Cloud, Psychedelic sedation, Pink Fertiliser (her own shit), Tentacle Plants, "Carnivore" Plants (plants which "eat" everyone's asses)

  • 'Tecna: The gang's nerd, she is responsible for the production of Alfea's sex toys. As a whole she is a fucking useless fairy, who invented Windows 10,000 BC, the most modern computer on Vagi[ni]x. She stole her hat (which she uses to conceal her dyke hair) from one of the seven dwarfs, which made Snow White criticising this series of copyrighting; [un]fortunately, this show's wasn't banned.She is a white and nerdy British bitch!

Powers: Hello Kitty Cell Phone (doesn't work on fangirls), Green Little Squares (useless), Spore, Cyber bulling (kills self esteem), Spam to Hell!

  • Laylaylaylayla: The only african american fairy, for Italy is a very racist country. She was also the show's lesbian until Fred Phelps was introduced in season 3. Since then he became her sex slave the w.c. killed her cuse they say we need to kill a nigger for the nazi ritual and layla died in a bloody ritual they introduced a 50 miles dildo into her anus ... ending with sexual results. She comes from the realm of sea men.

Powers: Red Fluids, White Fluids, Yellow Fluids.

Frix/W.I.T.C.H.[edit]

The W.C.'s dire enemies. Being emos, they go around dressing carnival clothes out of season and eye make up that makes them look even more stupid than they already are. Just like the Winx, they have ridiculous powers that can't even kill a fly, though they highly humiliate the W.C. because they are way more powerful than them.

  • Icy cream: The leader of the W.I.T.C.H., who desires more than nothing to steal Broom's power, so that she can rule Vagi[ni]x with the combination of Anus Flame and Ice Vagina.

Powers: Ice Vagina (her cunt gets cold and decreases the surrounding temperature. That is really usefull isn't it?), Ice Dildos, Freezing Lub

  • Darcy Arsy: The most emo of all the W.I.T.C.H., she torments her enemies by invading their minds and putting there images of herself naked. Unlike Icy, she isn't interested in Broom's power (I mean, who the fuck wants to fart like that?)

Powers: Nightmare (she invades the mind of her enemies and places them in a world without Hello Kitty, without funk, etc.; obviously, this only works on retards), Mental Bondage, Avaca Ketrava (a badasses imitation of Avada Kedrava, which basically is throwing a cow with constipation on top of her enemies. Ouch)

  • Stormy: The most fucked up W.I.T.C.H., she is a sadistic emo who gets horny at seeing people in the electric chair. Using electricities of -100 watz she vibrates like a vibrator and rapes the shit out of everyone, friend or fiend alike. The other Frix hate her (jeez, I wonder why).

Powers: Vibratoric Shock, Eletric Shit, Fluid Storm (Laylaylaylayla is required for this)

The Other W.I.T.C.H.[edit]

Note: Its possible that the following characters are actually from another show

  • Will: A psychotic red haired girl. For some reason her mom named her with a boy name. She also has a sexual obsession with frogs

Powers: Creationism, Russian Reversal (only works on Soviet Russia), Atomic Betty, Amphibian Power (her cunts opens and frogs come out of it. SO usefull isn't it?)

  • Taranee: Another afro-american character. No match for Laylaylaylaylayla, but capable of humiliating Broom with her superior fart powers

Powers: Same as Broom's, plus Lava Diarrhea

  • Irma: The main responsible for the world's lack of water, as she spends, like, three hours to take a bath. And she also has a little brother, who ended up as one of the specialists (see below).

Powers: Watersports, Tentacle Monster, Wasting Water

  • Cornellia: The royal bitch of the show, and Frola's rival. She is a spoiled W.I.T.C.H. who thinks she's superior due to her rich family, when in fact her family is actually very poor and its all a farse made by her parents and the school's director. Like Frola she also has a little sister, which died of My Little Ponies overdose.

Powers: Same as Frola's

  • Hay Lin: A Chinese whore whose only power is to make little breezes and having her grandmother as her pimp. Smiling like a retard, she is the only W.I.T.C.H. that can actually fly, despite the fact the others having mosquito wings like the Winx.

Powers: Retarded Little Breeze, Hurricane Katrina, Masturbating Winds, Having a Fucking Old Grandma

Allies of the W.I.T.C.H.[edit]

  • Lord Drakkar: A gothic raven who aided the W.I.T.C.H. during season 2. Another useless villain who wants Broom's fart powers, who tried to catch pixies for that (his plan was to put them on Broom's ass and steal the power). However, the little whores joined W.C. and Drakkar was trapped in Hell. Not that he's complaining, because there's plenty of furries there to fuck him.

Powers: Avian Influenza, Bird Shit, Bat Fuck Insane, Being a Dinosaur Descendent, Feather Rape

  • Balto: A wolf/dog furry who appears in season 3. The W.I.T.C.H. got all horny to see him, and started fighting against each other just to have his canine cock fucking and knotting them afterwards. However, all furries are gay, so he just went along with the hysterical bitches until he no longer needed them. According to him, he has Broom's parents inside his intestines, and she did whatever it took to kill him. Poor Balto.

Powers: Ice Cock, Furry Cum Blaster, Saving Nome from Diptheria, Having Kids With a Bitch Called Jenna, Being Raised By a Goose

Specialists[edit]

The boyfriends (aka sex slaves) of the Winx. This obviously is very weird, because they dress themselves in very tight latex clothes (those that cause fart like sounds when you're walking) and spend all day playing with plastic swords and motorcycles with absurdly huge tubes sticking out of them, which they anally masturbate with. They have no real powers, so they are pretty much useless fucks who would be killed by the fairies if they weren't so useful to prove their dominance. They are a proof of Mussolini's homophobia.

  • Sky: The drag princess of Eraklyon. A sissy guy who resembles the stereotypical Prince Charming and He-Man (aka men payed to pretend to be some girl's boyfriend despite his sexuality). Broom's sex slave.
  • Brandon: Stello's sex slave, he is the happiest of the specialists, cause he's the sex slave of someone with a cock. Doesn't mind to rape Sky when Broom isn't around.
  • Timmy: The nerd who is obviously Technerda's boyfriend. He's a worthless fuck who's only purpose of existence is to make Technerda have someone to fuck her that isn't a woman. He is fucked by practically everyone on the show.
  • River: A water course that serves Mula.
Usually River is Mula's sex slave, but sometimes Stello uses him. In such occasions, he's a little happier than usual
  • HELLio: Frola's slave, though not a sexual one, as she's asexual. He served under her ruthlessness as a farmer in her drug farm, for about 48 hours per day and with no break time for eating. Thus, he died in the second episode he appeared, and his body was thrown into the garbage, no ceremony or anything. Under normal conditions he would be a brilliant pacifist artist, but he's dead now, so...
  • Nabu: Laylaylaylaylaylaylaylayla's sex slave, introduced in season 3. Another Afro-American like her, expressing Mussolini's beliefs that people should only reproduce with members of their own race.

Pixies[edit]

Introduced in season 2 by Lord Drakkar, they were part of his plan to get Broom's Anus Flame power. However, the plan backfired when the little whores joined themselves to W.C., and since then they had been working as the fairies' masturbatory objects. They also have some stupid little animals (aka Pokemon) which look like retarded little versions of bears, cats and sea horses with mosquitto wings. The show has been strongly attacked by the UN due to its paedophilia and bestiality themes introduced by the pixies. However, nobody gave a shit.

  • Lockette: Broom's dildo and the pixie of stupidity and bitchness. She's so stupid anyone can trick her into giving them a blowjob.

Powers: Lack of a Brain

  • Amore: Stello's bitch and the pixie of lust and rape. She can make anyone horny with her powers, but thats useless, since everyone's sex crazed on Vagi[ni]x.

Powers: Raping Ray, Violating Scepter, Being Inside Stello's Cock

  • Chatta: Frola's pixie, who actually resembles Stello more, aside from the fact that she lacks a penis. She's the most useless character in the show, doing absolutely nothing other than to smoke Frola's weed.

Powers: Being Annoying, Lack of a Vagina (no one's perfect), Fucking Piggy Tails

  • Tune: Another worthless fuck who tries to make Vagi[ni]x a more civilized and less sexual place. This enraged the Winx, who raped her with a stick and trapped her inside Mula's cunt.

Powers: Being a Bitch

  • Digit: Tecnerda's pixie, who is exactly like her owner. Aside from the fact that she's a tomboy who rapes flies, but thats besides the point. Never allowed to go anywhere but Tecnerda's anus.

Powers: Same as Tecnerda's, plus Tamagoshi Fuck, Nano Rape, Computer Viruses (used to steal CIA's secrets and sell them to China)

  • Piff: Did I said any of the previous pixies were useless? Well, this one beats them all. She does nothing but to sleep inside Laylaylaylaylaylaylayla's cunt! Fuck, as if having whore fairies everywhere wasn't enough now they came up with a lazy ass who sleeps inside someone's cunt. What an example to children!

Powers: Sleeping, Procrastinating

Other Characters[edit]

Mostly either common threats to both W.I.T.C.H. and Winx or useless fucks who can be easily defeated.

  • Prince [Homo]Phobos: A pathetic geek who plays a stupid RPG about a world called "Meridian". A faithful mormon (and emo), he sees the fairies and the W.I.T.C.H. as the fucked up anorectic whores they are and made prostitution illegal in his kingdoom. This made the W.C. so angry that Stello "raped" him. His actual defeat only came when he was sent to Kandrakar, where he's now the prison bitch. Surprisingly, he's not complaining. He was effectively replaced as the role playing nerd ruler of Meridian by his even more emo sister Ellyon.

Powers: Communism, Role Playing, World of Warcraft, Planting Black Roses, More Role Playing

  • Cedric: A snake...literally. [Homo]Phobos faithful follower, he actually poses no threat to neither W.I.T.C.H. nor W.C., spending most of his time crawling around without any particular reason. Nonetheless, the fairies tend to beat him and rape him. Unlike most snakes, he lacks an Hemipenes, because Will castrated him and ate his genitals. Poor Cedric.

Powers: Venomous Cum (lost after his castration), Penetrating Fangs, Giving Apples to Adam and Eve

  • Chuck Norris: A fierce enemy of the fairies, who believes their slutiness threatens America's well being. He proved to be an extremely powerfull enemy, that not even's Broom's powers managed to defeat. Therefore, they simply grabbed him by his cock and trapped him in Hell to give some company to Lord Drakkar. Obviously this made Chuck a bit upset

Powers: Same as Stello's, plus Cum Canon, Goatse, Kung Fu Cock, Strangling Dick

  • Scrooge McDuck: Another extremely powerful entity who became an avid enemy of the W.C. after they refused to sell him the specialists for any price below 1$. As a result the pathetic bird tried to destroyed Vagi[ni]x with his powers, but the Winx managed to capture Magica De Spell and gave her to him for free. Since then he happily rapes Magica and is in friendly terms with the W.C., who plan to murder him in order to get his money.

Powers: Same as Lord Drakkar's, plus Greed, Pedophilia (his nephews are required), Raping Magica, Lack of Pants (he's ready to rape at any time)

  • Joel: A somewhat ambiguous character, he's a furry wolf who couldn't care less about the Winx or the W.I.T.C.H., though they often clash due to the fact both want to achieve control of the Earth (though Joel doesn't want to turn it into a whorehouse like the fairies do). In the same way the Winx have the specialists, he has a cat called Matt, who is obviously much happier than the specialists because he gets to have his ass raped! Also he is a satanist emo (fuck, this shit is full with emos!).

Powers: Dark Tentacles, Wings of emu Emo, Jerkness, Fire Cock, Appearing in a Fucking Webcomic. Also, note that he is the only character in this show that is actually powerfull enough to kill a butterfly. Obviously, this isn't much

Scandal[edit]

One day Barack Obama was walking in a park when his daughters appeared. Suddenly, to his shock and horror, they took off their panties and showed him their asses, and used them as a bazooka against their father. The ending result is that the new American president was totally brown (oh wait, he's already brown) by the end of the day, covered by their shit as he was. Apparently, the senator's two daughters were imitating Broom's power Fire Shit, in which she does what the little girls did to their father (only that the enemies get burned).

“This proves that the Winx are a cancer to the society and thus should be banned from the USA!”

This angered millions of retarded little girls, who, in a total act of protest and rage, took of their clothes and showed their asses. The matter was settled immediately, and the W.C. still airs on american television.

It is also worth to note that Hurricane Katrina was caused by an emo imitating Hay Lin's power Masturbating Winds, which obviously went wrong.

Conclusion[edit]

W.C. is a television diarrhea. A fucked up shit that tries to be anime but can't even be classified as the worst possible kind of cartoon. Do you have any children? If you love him/her/them then take your little ones away once you see deformed anorexic fairies throwing colourful shit at each other.

This guy after watching the Winx Club. He never spoke again...