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Wizards can be very dangerous.

A wizard is a semi-intelligent magical creature that possesses powers which transcend physical reality. It's prone to screwing things up, or just screwing things. Like when a wizard created the universe, or when it suddenly turned evil, or when it sniffed up your cat, or when it shat on your head. A wizard did all of that stuff.

Types of wizards[edit]

Magical wizards[edit]

Main article: A wizard did it

They're the 'normal' kind of wizard. They fuck up your life the regular way.

Gay wizards[edit]

Main article: Two wizards did it, Albus Dumbledore

They're the kind that fuck you up the ass. Like anally intense. Also they disappear with a puff.

Pinball wizards[edit]

Main article: The Who

These guys will pin your balls with a pair of flippers. They are often blind.

Rainbow wizards[edit]

Main article: Category:A wizard did it

They come in different colors! It's fucking magical or something.

These cows are actually pervert wizards in disguise.

Pervert wizards[edit]

Main article: Lesbians: Wizards did it

They're the kind that create lesbian girls and then watch them have sex.

Rapist wizards[edit]

Main article: A wizard probably did it

They're the kind that fuck you up the ass in a non-friendly way.

Orgy wizards[edit]

Main article: Four wizards, a slutty nurse, and Dennis Kucinich did it

Better watch out for those.

Shit wizards[edit]

Main article: 2 Wizards 1 Cup

They will make you poop and eat your poop.

Wizards with volcanic dragon dicks[edit]

Main article: A wizard did it: A Retrospective#The Ultimate Wizard Interpretation

If you see one of these, you're done for. It will rape you until you explode with hot lava.


Now you know everything you need to know about wizards. You better go hide somewhere now. The wizards are after you.