Woman Wonka

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Woman "Girl" Wonka was the wife of Obi-Wan Kenobi in his later life.


Woman was born a long time ago on the planet Rupert, but moved to Earth at an early age. She had a love for chocolate early in her life, and ate it a lot. However, she was not fat because she "worked out".

On Earth, she befriended Obi-Wan Kenobi at an early age and was sad when he went away to become a Jedi. She spent her life working at an ice cream shop, and was very happy when Obi-Wan returned after the Big Jedi Murdering Vendetta orchestrated by Darth Sidious. They got married and, despite their old ages, had two kids: Adolf Hitler and Willy Wonka. And then there was that third child, Optimus Prime. Supposedly Woman eventually died of old age, but records in the Jedi Archives show her being cast into the Trayus Core of Malachor V by the Jedi Exile after taking on the personna of Darth Traya after Obi Wan divorced her to be with Adam West.

Rumors mention how Woman Wonka was also having illicit relationships with Jedi Master Atris, Margaret Thatcher, and Howard the Duck.