Workaround Oriented Programming

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“My program has no bugs, it merely develops new funcionalities at random.”

~ WOP Programmer, asked during conference

Workaround Oriented Programming is probably the oldest way of programming known. It is mainly fundamented under the use of gotos to fix unexpected flux and telling the user to solve problems you'd have to fix yourself.

Usual WOP tools[edit]

Variable Type: awsomeBoolean[edit]

awsomeBoolean is a new variable type that can be acquired from WOP-based compile kits. It can be very helpful when you're not sure of the exact result of a boolean operation, but is too lazy to check it out. awsomeBoolean can have four values: TRUE, FALSE, MAYBE and I HAVE NO IDEA.

D.A.M.M.I.T. (c) - Database Administion Methodically Modelled Interactive Tool[edit]

D.A.M.M.I.T. (c) is a tool that has been known to ease the work of many DBAs in applications, due to it's very intuitive commands, such as "FROM players SELECT NOOBS" (that returns every user who had ever spoken 1ik3 7hiz) and "CATCH exception: tryAgain()"

F.U.C. - Flag for Unindenfied Crap[edit]

A common flag, F.U.C. has been used to examinate the control flux of your code and hopefully find the cause for exceptions thrown at compile time. Keep in mind that F.U.C. works only on WOP-based languages.

 flag = 0
if flag = 1
	output "Been here"
	flag = 0
else if flag = 2
	output "Been here too"
	flag = not flag
else output "It's working, moron. Leave it alone"
end if
output "FUC terminated"

Generating a random value with WOP[edit]

public boolean getRandomBoolean () {
	boolean heads = true;
	boolean tails = false;
	Scanner sc = new Scanner(System.in);

	while (true){
		System.out.print("heads or tails? ");
		String choice = sc.nextLine();
		
		if ( choice.equals("heads") ) then return tails;
		else if ( choice.equals("tails") ) then return heads;
		else System.out.println("Try again noob");
	}

}

Method for solving the most common errors through WOP[edit]

  • Problem: Stack Overflow
    Solution: Tell the user he needs more 20GB of RAM to execute this program.
  • Problem: Unknown Host Name
    Solution: Redirect to www.google.com and hope the user was trying to reach that host.
  • Problem: NoSuchPointer Exception
    Solution: Tell the user he should buy another mouse. (Or did you think the user knows what a Pointer is?)
  • Problem: Must be compatible with Linux
    Solution: Create a Linux application that only outputs "Some data was corrupted", and swear it is RapidShare's fault.
  • Problem: The above program is only 2KB, while the real one is 200MB
    Solution: Download Photoshop, rename it as "Database.dat" and put it on the same RAR file.