World War Three
“Snoopy did not live long enough to fight in this war”
Many blame World War Three on Charles De Gaulle. However, it's all Germany's fault. After all, German Democracy is horrible.
When It Happened
The date is relatively unknown because all records have been destroyed by the ADA (American Disability (Association) Headed by Tiny Tim and Chuck Norris.
The Beginnings of World War Three
The Germans of were particularly corrupt. Their so called 'Democracy', was really a hoax. So, the great Charles De Gaulle lead an attack on Russia to destroy the Communists. Several prominent historians, notablly Chuck Norris and Johnny Depp, still debate as to how this conclusion was made, but most agree that it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The Campaign of Russia
By the winter of 1850, luck was wearing thin for the Russians. Equipped with lasers and energy shields, Charles De Gaulle and his armies had driven deep into Russian territory. Then, the Russian Offensive of 2050 began. At the start of the offensive, Vladimir Putin wanted to attack Alaska. Unfortunately, this plan was overruled. The Russian Offensive was thus brought to life - there was no choice but to counterattack until the troops safely reached Argentina.
5 hours into the historic battle, the invasionary forces were encountering no trouble. At approximately 4 PM, the Ukrainian forces were ambushed by the Russians. Through superior numbers, the Ukrainians were sent into full fledged retreat by the Russians. They, in turn, linked up with the Polish Army and resumed the advance towards Moscow. The Russians, believing that the battle was won, continued their attacks, despite their widespread defensive deficiencies.
The American peace-keeping force at Karpov was annihilated when Russia deployed a nuclear bomb on Karpov. The blast lead to high casualties and hurt Charles De Gaulle's allies. The battle was in his hands (and the British)
The British forces were suddenly attacked by Russians on all sides. Through superior strategy, the British Expeditionary Force was able to repel the barbarous Russian Troops. The British (aided by the remnants of the Polish, Ukrainian, and American forces) marched onto Moscow, but were stopped by the gallant IRA, who then killed all Britts and joined up with America.
Charles De Gaulle, the "New Age Napoleon", led his "well trained" and "well equipped" troops toward Moscow. In the bloody battle, the french finally turned around and saw the enemy, and then ran away, the russians were prepared for this, and surrounded the french and took all their wine and cheese and bread. The "Massive" French army was defeated.
Outcome of the battle for Moscow
The battle was a success. The British arrived in time to secure the ruined city and Russia was in effect, destroyed. So, Charles De Gaulle turned his attention to Berlin, were his cheese, wine and bread was being held in camps.
THE BATTLE OF BERLIN
Charles De Gaulle's Army was reinforced by elements from the French Homeland. With the aide of the British reinforcements (with some Polish/Ukrainian soldiers), they marched on Berlin. Charles De Gaulle was impatient so he sent his troops by Spaceship. Unfortunately, the German Defenders fought fiercely and with a huge arsenal of missile technology. The French Generals decided to just destroy Berlin using lasers in the end, but failed to destroy the big wall that was encompassing Berlin, so they sent the Somalian army to save the day, unfortunatly, there is no somalian army, so they just sent in space marines. The British/American forces arrived in time for the clean-up operation, and took over all of Germany, which was then split into 3 zones of occupation. (None of these zones encompassed Berlin, so Berlin was given to George W. Bush, who made it into a private island in which he could hide from reporters).
Retrospectively recent research has found that the Germans did indeed invent the frying pan, causing the Americans to rename "Pancakes" to "El Cocks du Griddle".
George W. Bush lived happily ever after on his super german island palace, but no after executing his mortal enemy, steve jobs, and making him into a giant pickle, which was the source of pickle and cheese sandwhiches on Berlin Island.