World War XIV

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World War XIV
Date: 5017-5018
Place: North America.
Outcome: Canada dominates the U.S. with Computer cars. Thanks to www.freakin'heck.com
Combatants
Canadian Empire (CE): Canada. The Allies: USA, Colbert Nation, Cuba, Independent Republic of Dunkin' Donuts, Quebec.
Commanders
Tim Horton, Red Green. Dick Cheney, Stephen Colbert.

History[edit]

World War XIV started after many years of peace. Canada had recently turned into a fascist country led by their leader Tim Horton. Tim Horton's direct involvement with the government caused him to have high tensions with the newly formed nation of Dunkin' Donuts. The Independent Republic of Dunkin' Donuts was what the Americans had used for 2 millennia as a way to keep the Canadian Company of Tim Horton's out of the country. Quebec, now its own independent republic and Catholic nation within the nation of Canada had removed all the Tim Horton's out of its borders and replaced it with Dunkin' Donut's, in attempt to preserve their culture by hosting a poorly spelled English corporation.

The Battle Begins[edit]

Canada launched the first strikes against Dunkin' Donuts in January. After that the US entered the war hoping that they would be able to defeat the fairly weak country. What they had not anticpated was that Canada had made serveral modern improvements to their Flying Squirrel Missile which was now able to carry many more warheads and ble to fly much faster than the American Cruise Missle. Canada began to take control of the US when Dick Cheney asked for some help from Asia and Europe. They said they didn't want to come. The Colbert nation now finally having a chance to attack and invade Canada began mving its forces towards the frontlines. Quebec also even though it did not have an army declared war on Canada even though it is within Canada. What they did not realize is that they would have to ask Canada to fund its war against Canada. After they asked for money to fund their war their leader Maurice Richard suddenly died from a terrible explosion invloving Donuts and Maple Syrup.

Europe lends a hand[edit]

Finally Europe realized that they if the US was defeated they wouldn't have a country to make the rest of Europe look better than it is. So England, knowing it needed its scapegoat sent all the troops it could muster sent them over to fight Canada. France the only person who liked Quebec enough to fight with them sent 1 billion troops to fight on the Quebec frontline. Thanks to the combined efforts of the French army and Quebec they entrenched themselves in fortresses and bunkers made out of snow.

The War Drags on[edit]

After 2 years of the war the US and Canada had been fighting on the same frontline for the past year. Mexico yawns openly, suddenly stifling it when the U.S. hungrily looks its way.

The war gets boring[edit]

In the year 3100 while celebrating a new century Canada realized that they had technically still been fighting the US for 30 more years than they thought. So the fighting started up again. Eventually countries in Europe and Asia had a pool on who would win the war. China believed that there would be a tie. Japan believed that Canada was gonna get owned by the USA. Russia completely hammered after New Years said that the Pink Elephants were coming to get Canada for being assholes.

The war ends AT LAST[edit]

New Rivals came into the stupid war. Thus Creating The Battle of Van Halen which was awesome for like 2 seconds and then stupid Metallica ran everybody over. You would think by now it would have ended right? WRONG. Iron Maiden stepped in thus creating The Battle of Iron/Sabbath/DC/Whitaker. In short the war turned out to actually be a never-ending series of Band Battles and in the end, Bryan Adams consumed everything and everybody without anybody watching and had Jupiter for dessert.

                                                  THE END AND BULL
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