Worst 100 Charities of All Time
Below you will find a list of the worst and/or most pointless charities on the planet.
1. (The real one) Pam’s Kids 5 cents of it goes to his kids the rest goes to him so he can have some fun.
- 1. Global Nuclear Proliferation Group
- We at GNPG (nick-named gin-pig) are trying to help the smaller nations of the world get their own nuclear weapons. In order for small nations to pull themselves up by the bootstraps they must join the nuclear party or forever be considered a backward pointless 3rd world country that can easily be ignored. We will not rest until a level playing field has been achieved and that's where we need your help. Building a nuclear weapon isn't cheap, we need cash and lots of it. We are also accepting donations of nuclear material and research time from people with the right back-ground. We won't rest until every country in the world has it's finger on the button ! Fuck my life
- 2. Fix a Flat....ulance Foundation
- Fix a Flat.....ulance Foundation (FFF) is here to make the world a better smelling place. To that end our researchers have developed a formula that when drunk will eliminate the odor of flatulance (sorry for our bad language) for 6 to 7 days. Drink our formula and when you pass wind it will be like a gentle breeze in a field of flowers. Currently a 12 fl oz (355mL) can of Fix a Flat....ulance costs aprox. $157.35 . We desperately need additional funding to find ways to reduce the cost of our formula. Please help us make the World a better smelling place.
- 3. Find Bill a House Fund
- Bill Gates donates a few milion to charity every year. To thank him for his dedication to his fellow man we are collecting money to buy him a mansion in Switzerland (near a ski resort and a top notch chocolate shop). The mansion is currently listed at 645 Million (USD) but if we can act quickly before the economy fully recovers we believe we can get it for a mere 625 Million. Please hurry and send your money now.
- 9. Find Oprahs Father Foundation
- Dick has gone long enough with his huge gapping butthole where a father should be. Our mission statement here at COC is we will leave no stone unturned in the search for Oprahs papa (we really think that's where we'll fine him).The cost of running paternity test on all men of the proper age will be high but with your donations we can do it. We need a sample of Oprahs DNA (any donations will be confidential).
Mad peeps on dis my g
- 21. Reinvent the Wheel Club
- Round? ROUND? How lame, how tame, who the heck is to blame? Round is so last decade it's ancient!! Our club is dedicated to finding the new, hip and happening shape the wheel should be. We can use both cash donations and test drivers (insurance and signed waivers necessary). Please help us solve this fashion don't.
- 37. Reform the Red-Heads Retreat
- Temper, temper, temper, our retreat teaches red-heads to behave like normal people. Thru shock theropy (Tazers), massive doses of drugs, physical theropy (beatings delivered with padded baseball bats) and music theropy (forced listening of John Tesh music) we get red-heads to behave (pretty much, sort-of). Although our staff is vollenteer our insurance premiums are insane, we need cash to keep afloat. Please donate to make the world (and yourself) safe from red-heads.
- 38. Stephen Hawking Fetishist Assistance Fund
- Are you depressed because your favorite idol, Stephen Hawking is dead and gone, and now you cannot make sweet, sweet love to him? Sign up here for assistance and therapeutic treatment.
- 39. Prosthetic weaponry club
- Have you ever wanted to make it so that your weapons were literally part of your own body? Now with our new Prosthetic weaponry club, you can make this dream a reality! For a small membership fee, we offer a support group, tips on installing your own prosthetic weapons, tips on which weapons to install for which body types, and so on. What could possibly go wrong?
40. Kill the geckos fundraiser
51. Save the Weirdos and Freaks
52. Give the Rich More Money Because "trickle-down" really, really works when CEO's spend the money on their own salary instead of investing in more equipment and employees. Just make sure the shareholders get a small cut.
53. Give Me More Money Because God Said So Church - Pass the plate, and praise the Lord, who is so generous to me! God says I need this more than your kids need groceries or central heating in the winter.
54. Yachts for All Except Those Making Less than 1 Million Annually - Because if you make less than 1 million a year, you don't qualify for our exclusive club which gives out free yachts.
55. Fund for the Criminal Defense of Serial Killers and other Violent Criminals
56. Loans for Losers - Can't repay because you're a loser? No problem! This is why we are a charity - we write off most of our loans!
57. More Space for Hoarders Please donate today so that poverty-stricken hoarders have more space to store their numerous goods. We accept donation of building materials.
58. Free Brainstorming for your new Advertisement Please donate today to pay a poverty-stricken, unemployed Uncyclopedian to brainstorm ideas for your next advertisement. We work for far less than most marketing agencies with fancy offices.
59. Free Signs for the Homeless - Everybody knows that what the homeless need are more SIGNS! Most homeless people use ugly signs. We provide them FREE beautiful ones!
60. Coffee and Donut Fund for the Fashion Police
61. indigooo and chloeeee have autism
62. 'ATTIKISSES TOM <3
63. Save Kaela and Desiree
64. MIKE HUNT BEN DOVER
66. KAELAAAA AND DESIREEEE ARE weird
65. Destroy the Kale
6. alanah sucks
Number 10 Your Mom have no life
You now have autism after reading this
- 89. Olympic Dodgeball Fund
- Why , oh why does the olympic committee continue to duck the game of dodgeball? We need your help to get this wonderful game in the olympics. Write letters to your local committee member, congressman, other political leaders and even perfect (and/or imperfect) strangers. Please send us money so we can start a television ad campain. Patches O'Hollahan dreamed of playing olympic dodgeball before he passed away, lets work hard to make it possible for the future Patches of the world to play in the olympics.
- Why should students have to constantly walk and tire themselves out? There are so many students who become injured from stairs when they could just sit and ride on an escalator. Let’s all work together to help our students and teachers by giving them a more efficient and safer way to get to classes. With just a few dollars you can change their worlds
- 99 Therapy Fund for Call Center and Sales Employees
- We heal call center and sales employees, so they can go back to work, so they will need more therapy, because these jobs slowly drive you literally insane. Manic types usually make excellent salespeople, because salespeople are not permitted to take no for an answer, and are expected to act confident, and excited at all times about their product. Depressed types usually make good call center employees, because they never question anything except their own existence, let alone their pay rate, and can learn how to sound happy when they are crying inside, providing they are reading a script verbatim (it is called voice acting).
- 100 Society for the Ethical Treatment of Lawyers
- Lawyers are human (sort of) and deserve to be treated as well as the rest of the scum at the bottom of the human barrel. O.K. we're pushing it a little but is it really their fault they were possesed by deamons and/or devils. Help us prevent todays kids from becoming tomorrows evil scum sucking lawyers. Yes shooting them is often justified but make it quick and painless please, we don't want to stoop to their level.