Worst 100 New Ways to Clean the Toilet of All Time

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This article's title is a lying bastard, as unless you are retarded you will notice there \

Cleaning your toilet is one of those things you shouldn't do because cleaning your toilet encourages bacteria growth, and visitors to your house.

But some people insist on cleaning it because they like to see the original colour of their toilet, so the toilet matches their wallpaper.

Here a list compiled by the best gourmets in Europe.


1. Lift the toilet seat and pour 1/8 of a cat shampoo bottle.

2. Get the kitten and gently cuddle it while heading for the bathroom.

3. With ONE move, put the kitten into the toilet bowl and put down the toilet seat. Get ready to sit down.

4. The kitten gets nervous and makes a lot of foam. Don't mind the noises that get through the seat, the kitten actually loves to help.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times (starts Turbo Mode).

6. Ask someone to open the front door. Make sure that there's no one in the path.

7. Stay as far as you can from the toilet and lift the seat.

8. The kitten exits fast from the toilet, bathroom, house. Once outside, it dries.

9. The toilet and the kitten are spotless.

10. Repeat the steps 1-9 at least once per day.

Your dog.


  • Grow your hair out really long.
  • Rig your face to a power tool that spins very fast.
  • Optional: Detach your head from your body.
  • Optional: Add some soap.
  • Then, dip it in your toilet, and spin it.
  • Let your hair do the rest.
  • Optional: Re-attach your head

The end result will give you a spotless toilet, a scar around your neck, and excellent hair, garenteed to get you a girlfriend!




You need, 1. Grue 2. You 3. toilet.

Step 1. Jump into toilet. Step 2. Have Grue eat toilet.


You will need, 1. toilet 2. another toilet 3. no trace of sanity

First, you get two toilets, and what you do is this, take both toilets to a bar, and get them both really really really drunk, I recommend Mr. Clean. Second, make them both wake up in a hotel together, with no recollection of last night, then wait about 10 months, and suddenly you have a brand new, shiny, small toilet! (you may need to change its' seat everyday or two, daipers are recommended.



Simply swill the toilet with approximately 2oz of high quality antimatter, this will annhilate with the mucky stuff in one simple and efficient process, leaving your toilet clean and fresh.

Note: This process may cause some minor corrosion to your toilet bowl. Uncyclopedia is not responsible for any damage to your toilet in carrying out this technique, no matter how caused.


Method devised by Mohammed Ali, because he wanted to make cleaning the toilet a more manly task.

Firstly take an electric whisk and stick bars of soap to the ends of the whisks. Turn the electric whisk on and proceed to clean the toilet whilst constantly flushing the chain. If you are getting numerous electric shocks, don't panic, you will grow used to the pain in time. Electricuiting yourself isn't always such a good idea as it prevents you from cleaning your toilet again in the future.


  • Go to local Wal-Mart.
  • Get a Chuck Norris.
  • Get your Chuck Norris to knock the ever living fuck out of your toilet.

If you do not own an electric whisk, a remote control car makes an excellent substitute.


Have a good old lick there. It all came out of you, or possibly a child who came out of you!


Take a crap in it.