Worst 100 Ways to Die of All Time

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21 Ways to Fight a Turtle
20 Ways to Fight a Vampire
19 Ways to Fight a Werewolf
18 Ways to Fight an African Elephant
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14 Ways to Fight an Ox
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8 Ways to Start a Novel
7 Ways to Win an Argument
6 Weapons
5 Werewolves
4 Worlds of Fiction
3 Xylophones
2 Yaks
1 Zebras

Everyone dies, but this list shows you the worst ways to die of all time.

100 through 91[edit]

100. Listening to Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber for a whole day straight
99. Over-exposure to Redundancy.
98. Being Part of a Human Centipede.
97. Pool of snakes.
96. Too much food but not enough sex.
95. Picking Pickled Peppers
94. Pissing off a dragon.
93. "Subject was alive at the start of the autopsy. We have rectified that accordingly."
92. Getting birthday punches when you turn 100.
91. Bigpox.

90 through 81[edit]

90. Vagina dentata.
89. Arms magically replaced with angry wolverines.
88. Getting to level 8-1 without using any warpzones, only to fall into that stupid double pit, like, five times in a row.
87. Getting hit in the head with a fire extinguisher by hillbilles after they drown you with stupid knock-knock jokes.
86. Auto-erotic asphyxiation accident.
85. Auto-erotic decapitation accident.
84. Premature reincarnation.
83. Reverse diarrhea in chris's pants.
82. Being eaten by rats AND ants at the same time.
81. Duffy Pool Attack.gif

80 through 71[edit]

80. The Aristocrats!
79. Getting run over by an ambulance.
78. Committing suicide after your grandma catches you getting off on Goatse and asks to help you finish off.
77. Decapitation Disease
76. You're not a cannibal but your conjoined twin is.
75. Your conjoined twin is not a cannibal, but you are.
74. As an elderly virgin (over 40).
73. Being done to death (jokes only).
72. Scared to death.
71. Scared to death by possibility of being scared to death.

70 through 61[edit]

70. Scared to death by possibility of being scared to death by the possibility of being scared to death.
69. Being scared half to death...twice
68. Weasels ripped my flesh.jpg
67. Seven hours of Tony Danza!
66. Hiroshima.
65. Skin failure.
64. In a battle without honor or humanity.
63. Being buried alive.
62. Being buried alive in the same coffin as Gilbert Gottfried.
61. Rolled up in Katamari and turned into stardust.

60 through 51[edit]

60. Eaten by zombies, turned into a zombie, then eaten by zombie eating superzombies.
59. Deleted by God for having no redeeming value.
58. Allergic reaction to own blood.
57. Mistaken for a sockpuppet by extremely strong, stupid ventriloquist.
56. Substituting jellied petroleum for petroleum jelly during any number of personal procedures.
55. Going to the gynecologist and mistakenly asking her to insert an IED instead of an IUD.
54. Not e-mailing this list to ten other people within ten minutes of the moment you finish reading it. If you do you will have da fame and fortune and all your wishes will come true and you'll see an animation starring the Taco Bell dog.
53. Crossing the streams. Don't cross the streams!
52. Choking on your own vomit.
51. Choking on someone else's vomit.

50 through 41[edit]

50. Over-exposure to Redundancy.
49. Pop rocks and soda-triggered head explosion.
48. Drinking liquid oxygen, then swallowing a lit match
47. Succeeding in fucking yourself.

46.5 Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy got a gun, Fuzzy Wuzzy SHOT someone

46. Paradox-related head asplosion.
45. On the toilet with a girlie magazine after finding your angel is the centerfold.
44. In a genetically-modified hot dog eating contest.
43. Eaten by Oprah.
42. Eaten by yourself.
41. Eaten by the Sarlacc in the Great Pit of Carkoon to be slowly digested over a thousand years.

40 through 31[edit]

40. Never ending sex
39. Drowning in a pool of Michael Jackson's "Jesus Juice". Yummo!.
38. Deleted for being unfunny and too short.
37. Severe disco accident.
36. Having to watch this video out loud for eternity while tied up to a chair.
35. Drowning in human waste.
34. Attempting to dig a hole to China.
33. Assassinated by Abe Lincoln and John F. Kennedy.
32. Eaten by a Grue.
31. Overdosing on kittens.

30 through 21[edit]

30. Believing you are superman, jumping off a very tall building while 10 lit M80s are tied to your neck then landing on an old man drinking tea while teabagging his wife, who is a zombie.
29. Being your friend's mom's love interest.
28. Over-exposure to Redundancy.
27. Super AIDS.
26.457903628969. Choking on unnecessary decimals.
26. Suffering from unexplained severe toe fractures as the only person who can play the drums with their feet.
25. Born from your incest parents.
24. Choking on air.
23. Trying to rape a child, realizing that the child is accompanied by an alien, and having to listen to loud dubstep music while slowly being tortured to death by the "child's" telekinetic powers... And raped.
22. Snapping your back during an intense session of trampoline lessons.
21. Deleted for being a wiener dog.

20 through 11[edit]

20. Being banned from life.
19. Spontaneous Combustion.
18. Drowning in a pool of gasoline while on fire.
17. For no reason whatsoever.
16. Clicking this link.
15. An erection lasting longer than four hours.
14. Gaining super strength but not super toughness, then crushing yourself trying to bench a car.
13. Philosophically disproving your own existence through existentialist relativism.
12. Being fat.
11. being gay, in a world full of straight people not being accepted causing you to assassinate everyone in your town screaming "whose the faggots now bitches!!" then you move to Pakistan and meet a guy named Shithead losing your virginity to Osama Bin Ladin then falling into a bottomless pit.

10 through 1[edit]

10. being Jewish.
9. Failing to open childproof medicine.
8. Being eaten by Ms. Washington, Anthony Howyn, Mr. Cecil
7. Unknown, unloved and 50 pounds overweight.
6. Under a morbidly obese man.
5. With a morbidly obese man inside of you.
4. Decapitation by Fluttershy using a chain saw then getting your remains eaten for midnight supper
3. Driving a burning car into a burning building where they store chainsaws and acid and then the firemen come but they're actually alligators in acid proof fireman disguises and they spray you with vinegar, lemon juice, and salt and swallow you whole and inside the alligator's stomach is this little guy who says, "This is my home get the hell out!" and he shoots you with a shotgun full of nails and sics his pet badger on you and saws your leg off and he kicks you out and you get a staph infection in the alligator's colon and you're pooped out into the sewer where you drown in filth and the city power main breaks and lands in your eye electrocuting you and your spleen explodes and you find out you have AIDS and a Ninja Turtle fucks you to death and now he has AIDS and you're covered in radioactive ooze and your ass becomes a mutant crab that starts pinching your ass and a hobo steals your skin and they take you to the morgue and freeze you to death and the coroner is that damn Ninja Turtle who fucks you to death again and gives you gonorrhea and a spider lays eggs in your hair and they bury you alive and you suffocate and the bottom falls out of your grave and you fall into a bottomless pit and you go to Hell where you stupidly ask Satan why this was not number one and get sent to Super Hell for asking such a question and then a black guy jizzes all over your face and you think its cum but its really hot magma mixed with coal and sulfur and your soul melts down and your liquified body falls into a cannon and the cannon shoots you to the sun and you are burned down to ashes and your ashes are burned down to helium and then your helium burned down to hydrogen and your hydrogen burned down to nothingness and you were reincarnated as a grasshopper and got squashed by a 5 mile long and 4.7 mile wide asteroid which is made of pure feces launched by the orbital cow shit launcher. k bye
2. Being too stupid to live.
1. Having your butthole stretched open to a 6 inch diameter, then having deadly tarantulas dropped into it.