Wycombe District Council

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Wycombe District Council mural

Wycombe District Council are a terrorist organisation that has claimed the lives of many of the innocent people of South Bucks. They have been honoured with membership of the Axis of Evil on 3 occasions since their foundation. Their total control over the lives of its subjects is maintained by the infamous Black Assasin Death Squad, thought to be made up of former Teletubbies and Cilla Black.

Political Programme[edit]

The Wycombe District Council's main policies are

  • To achieve the end of alienating the residents of High Wycombe and surrounding villages as well as making sure they have no chance to succeed in life, unless they have rich parents.
  • All expressions of creativity, individualism and sanity are to be brutally repressed by the feared Death Squads.
  • Using their comprehensive control of all media outlets to control what its subjects need to want to know.
  • Anybody found eating a kebab from Saddam Hussain's or Dennis Taylor's Kebab Van on the High Street and not ending up in a body bag within five minutes will found guilty of witchcraft be burnt at the stake before the next Marlow FC match.
  • Anybody daring to suggest that the new Eden Project Shopping Centre will be just another commercialised soulless hell hole will be sentenced to 15 years hard labour on the building of the very same centre.
  • Wycombe District Council is always right and the ends always justify the means.
  • Form suicide pacts.
  • Infect the world with the offspring of delinquent chavs that Rule Wycombe.

In the end of finalising their main aims, High Wycombe will no longer look like its former self. It will be but a distant image of what it was, the terriorists will take over and we shall be all put into small containmant areas and shoved in, overcrowding the small town.

Cells of future Wycombe citizens