X Chromosome

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Professor Neutronium, terrified at the lifestyle choice he has just made.

The X Chromosome, usually referred to by the scientific community as Chromosome X, is the secret ingredient Professor Neutronium accidentally added to give the Powerpuff Girls their super abilities. Professor Neutronium was mixing some sugar, spice, and everything nice to create some effeminate boys when he accidentally added three X-chromosomes to the brew. This had the side-effect of making the boys into girls, but the most significant effect was to give the Powerpuff Girls their laser headbands, steel-melting armpit pores, and triumveracity.


During the swinging 60's and coughing 70's, phenotypical scientific analysis revealed the probability of acquiring two X Chromosomes at conception was 50/50. With odds as low as 5,050 : 1 against, parents need not worry that their children will develop superpowers such as reading the dictionary, or bullet trains. Parents ought to also rest assured that their children most likely will not develop lunar hemorrhaging disease. Unfortunately, it means that when a big scary landscraper comes after you, you will have no secret weapon and will become smelly concrete-foot odor.

The Y Chromosome[edit]

Also referred to as the pitchfork or slingshot chromosome, the Y Chromosome was discovered in the 1900's by The Beatles. Unlike the daisy-vocal X chromosome, the Y chromosome will turn parents' sons or daughters into regular Dennises the Menace. He/she will be breaking into homes and stealing cars, all the while knifing train passengers with box cutters, in the safety of h'sir own private jumbo jet.

The Y Chromosome was named after prominent claims workers found it to have no apparent place in the phrenetic schemes of the times. Hence the question, Why is it there?

Role in Celebrity Marriages[edit]

The X Chromosome had a profound impact on the lives of many celebrities, as it sometimes causes a phenomenon called multiple foresis in response to exposure to fans. The phenomenon consists of the two infamous offspring doppleganging each other, entering an incestuous relationship, and unfortunately breaking up for hatred of seeing their own face in their sibling. The media handles these bizarre turns of event by sticking up monikers on the board for such couples, such as Bennifer.

Other Chromosomes[edit]

Other ingredients in the construction of life can be found in the following table. Most of them are theoretical at the time of this writing, but may come into existence when larger and sexier particle accelerators are built.

  • V - Makes the individual grow an Oscar Wilde face or gas mask, and roam London, throwing knives at gun-toters to save anarchy.
  • Z - I'm the Coach Z. Now allow me to perform my napkin on a stick jourke. It's hilorairous!
  • T - Causes Roman-columnar ossification disease, leading to death at age 3.
  • B - Traps protein atoms for never-ending distention. This causes gigantic-tricep disease. Muscle twitches hurl the mutant on his head until he gives a shout out to the hood. Most of the afflicted are break dancers.
  • K - Outlawed in Kentuckistan.


Comcorp holds a patent on the X Chromosome due to the gross negligence period from 1964-1968. Due to a switcheroo by the pope, the patent recently turned out to contain the recipe for fast-growing fly proboscis. This narrowly averted the evil resulting from one corporation holding the complete rights to a basic part of all superheroes. Luckily, plans to move a bridge to Alcatraz so that Magneto can steal the letter patent have been canceled.

See Also[edit]