You have two cows/3

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Category Three: Bovine Quotes[edit]

“Both cows hate Tamia

Lady Bracknell
To have one cow is fortunate, to have two is downright careful.
Samuel L. Jackson
You have two cows. You have HAD it with those motherfucking cows on this motherfucking field.
Horatio Nelson
Thank God, I have two cows.
Gilles Deleuze
There's no need to fear or hope, but only to look for two cows.
Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream, where all bovine species shall be treated with equal respect. I have a dream where the sons of steers and the sons of branders can sit down at the table of harmoony together, I have a dream today!
John Madden
Now what you got here are two cows. One, Two. Which are great cows playing a great game. You could find some cows on the street, and they'd probably play a good game; but what you got here are great cows playing a great game.
Muhammad Ali
Float like a butterfly, sting like two cows.
Neil Armstrong
That's one.....small step One...giant leap...for...two cows.
Jimmy Sixsmith
I am not a number. I am two cows!
George Washington
I can not tell a lie, I have two cows.
Lewis Carroll
"Twas brillig, and the slithy cows did gyre and gimble in the wabe..."
Winston Churchill
Never, in the field of buttercups and daisies, was so much owed to two cows by so many.
Bill Clinton
I never had sexual relations with those two cows. Just one

William Wordsworth
I wandered lonely as two cows.
Kurt Cobain, after Neil Young
It's better to burn out than to have two cows.
Ellen Feiss
And it was like "beep beep beep beep", and then, like, half of my cows were gone. And I was like, "eh?"
Mohandes K. Gandhi
You have to be the Cows you want to see in the world.
Mohandes K. Gandhi 2
An eye for an eye makes the whole cow blind.
Herbert Hoover
A chicken in every pot and two cows in every stable.
Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream, where white cows play with brown cows.
Ozzy Osbourne
Techno Man
Two cows are better than one
George W Bush
The two cows continue to improve daily.
George W Bush 2
Rarely is the question asked, is our two cows learning?
Dan Quayle
Cows, K-A-W-E-S, Cows.
The Elephant Man
I am not an animal! I am two cows!
Teddy Kennedy
So these two cows were standing on the bridge, and I swerved just in time - Yeah, that's the ticket.
Donald Rumsfeld
There are many different ways to look at the cow situation, and yes, one is from a numerical perspective. Do we have two cows? Yes. Do we want more cows? Absolutely! Can we afford more cows? Well, that's debatable. But the fact remains, you go to war with the cows you have, not the cows you want to have.
Bill S Shakespeare, Esq
Two sheep! Perchance two cows.
Walter Ulbricht
Niemand hat die Absicht, zwei Kühe zu errichten
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
La vache est née libre, et partout elle est dans les fers.
Bart Simpson
Don't have two cows man!
Bart Simpson
Aye cowrumba!
Mr. T
I pity the moo who doesn't have his calcium.
Steve Ballmer
I'm going to fucking kill two cows.

Takashi Miike
You could spend all your two cows.
Your two cows will retail for 599 USD.
Rick James
You have two cows, bitch.

I HAVE FOUR COWS. Therefore, I broke the continuum! Yay!
Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!


1. Analysis
2. Anime
3. Bovine Quotes
4. Cowmedy
5. Emootions
6. Endings
7. Famous Cows
8. Groups

9. This cow does not exist
10. In the Moos
11. Language of Cows
12. Literature
13. Moosical Moovements
14. Moovies
15. Non-Video Games
16. People

17. Politicowl Junk
18. Programming Languages
19. Religion
20. Software 'n Such
21. Sound of Moo-sic
22. Television
23. Travel
24. Video Games

24.3. Video Games Volume 2
25. World and Web of Cows
26. You Have n Cows
27. Science
28. Moodicine
29. Game Consoles
30. Game Genres
31. Capitalism

“You say you have two cows, but that's just what they want you to believe. They are in fact two lizards in disguise, part of a secret cabal that runs the world.”

~ David Icke on You have two cows