Your mom/example on wheels!
“I'm on your Mom! ON YOUR MOM! *Snicker*”
“Your mom is one fucking whore.”
“You mom so fat, she got her own orbit!”
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman. She sure can suck a dick, though.”
“Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!”
“I don't even have a mom.”
|Date of birth||1900|
|Place of birth||Montana|
|Date of death||[]|
|Place of death|
|First Lady||Your Dad|
|Prime Minister||Ran in 1965 election|
|Term of office||2023–2070|
|Preceded by||Inanimate Sponge|
|Succeeded by||King Emu|
|Political party||Communist Party|
Little is verifiably known about your mom. It can be determined with some veracity that she was born sometime in the 20th century, and proceeded to do dick-all with her life, during which period at some point she created you. Many have debated over just how you were conceived. Scholars have debated whether this action constitutes a departure from your mom's lifestyle of absolute worthlessness, but most agree that it does not. Most experts on the subject agree that your mom is in fact, a loose whore, and therefore the possibilities of your parentage are truly innumerible Your father adamantley denies any and all relations to you, as does your uncle.
Psychologists and uncles agree, almost unanimously, that your mom is to blame for everything that's wrong with you, and that one day you're going to be just like her. An opposing theory posited by your mom, however, points the finger rather at your father, an emotionally unavailable asshole who never provided you with a proper male role model. Your mother loved you, and still loves you, and wants you to call more often. It's not that hard to pick up a phone. Seriously, think about it. The more time you spend talking with her, the less time she'll have to share all of your humiliating stories with the neighborhood gossip (who looks suspiciously like your mom), Joe Mama. Do you want everyone to know about the time you dropped a load right in the middle of the breakfast cereal isle in Shop-rite? Didn't think so.
According to various (possibly suspect) sources your mom has accomplished much in her (according to some) extremely long life. She is credited with: Flipping the switch when God said "Let there be light", being the first American to receive a social security number, being declared a state, a country, and even a planet. She is also widely believed to have sat behind Jesus in third grade. A widely-held opionion of the masses has concluded definitivley that your mother is: Unattractive, overweight, old, stupid, lazy, poor, loose, and essentially a worthless piece of shit.
Just how fat is your mom?
An elusive figure in history, it is widely disputed just how fat your mom is. Allegations that she has her own gravitational pull have been regarded as 'bullshit' by critics who have clearly never felt her. In response to claims that Stephen Hawking has employed your mom as a
prostitute research aid in discovering more about the effects of really really really fat people on cosmological stability, Stephen Hawking's legal firm have issued the following statement : "So what...? *snigger*... Fat people don't have feelings."
It is believed by people who believe the following statement that McDonalds and Stephen Hawking are currently involved in an agressive lawsuit over the rights to your mom. Her blood is obviously a high percentage mayonaise with connservative estimates pushing to over 98%, causing McDonalds to rightly believe that "anything that unhealthy practically belongs to us". The extent of practically, is what the current lawsuit seems to be disputing. Stephen Hawking however maintains that he bought your mom several years ago for one british pence. Reports state that even so, your mom is so cheap that he still got change. However the contract for such an exchange is missing. Your mom proudly declares that she ate it but weather that unvalidates such a contract is up for question.
Some Extra info about your mom. When traveling up over, your mom is known as 'yo mooom bitch' When traveling on the internet, your mum is commonly known as "ya mama"
Clearly your mom is only as fat as there is fat in her body... and that is really all there is to say on the matter.
“I don't know exactly how fat your mom is. But my sources tell me... she's pretty damn fat.”
“I would kill myself if I was that fat.”
“If she were to be cremated, her remains would smoulder long enough to supply 75% of the United States with clean, geothermal energy for at least 20 years.”
Fun facts about your mom
- Your mum enjoys black women
- Your mum is symbolized by the element Urmomium
- Your mum is still a virgin. She will probably remain a virgin unless you hire her a cabana boy.
- Your mum sells her crack for crack.
- Your mum is like the Uncyclopedia:Community Portal -- everyone gets a chance to enter.
- Your mum was exceedingly popular during a brief period in the 1980s, but then again, what wasn't?
- Using 'Your Mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for this new "Generation Y.45-802.11bag version 5.1(2800)"
- Your mum got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed.
- Your mum is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense.
- Your mum is so ugly that hundreds of other horrible jokes have been made at her expense.
- Your mum is the best comeback ever. ZING!
- Your mum would be horribly upset that you are wasting your life visiting this site.
- Your mum is hunchbacked. You just don't know it yet.
- Your mum knows you masturbate, but loves you anyway.
- Your mum is secretly engaged to Kevin Costner.
- Your mum is an FBI agent.
- Your mum buys extra soft 3-ply Kleenex because she loves you anyway.
- Your mum was the 47thrd president of the United States.
- Your mum was also the 51st state.
- Your mum was subsequently made the 52nd through 78th states, because she was so fat.
- Your mum knows all about the monsters in your closet.
- Your mum owes me money, you douche!
- Your mum was here.
- Your mum has apparently had sex with everyone you have ever argued with.
- Your mum is a creature from outer space.
- Your mum fought JFK in one of the greatest movie epics of all time.
- Your mum went to college.
- Your mum once tried Satanism, but didn't really like it.
- Your mum went to prom with Merv the Perv.
- Your mum is the mascot for the University of Arizona.
- Your mum is my mom. Am I confusing you?
- Your mum is so white, she makes the Pillsbury Doughboy look Mexican.
- Your mum is a sleeper hit.
- Your mum is like a bowling ball, she gets fingered, tossed in the gutter, yet still comes back for more.
- Your mum is actually spelt your mum in the UK, until the Americans ruined how she talks.
- Your mum is so fat that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck.
- Your mum has pure taco injected into her boobs thrice, daily.
- Your mum has three nipples.
- ^^^ Yes all of this is your mom, i should know, dear. Don't forget to call, I worry ya'know? And stop looking at this stupid website, it'll cause you to ge square eyes.
- Your mum isn't funny (see directly above)
- Your mum
Things you really, really don't want to know about your mom
- Your Mom has a huge crush on Barry Manilow, and has been mailing him her diary entries weekly for over two decades, doodle-hearts and all.
- Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep.
- Your Mom secretly likes the smell of her own flatus. Now you know where you get it from.
- Your Mom bucked like Bambi in a forest fire while I was riding her last night. I had to grab her love handles with both hands to stay on. No wonder she demanded I tie her to the hood of the SUV before we started.
- Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception. ("Hey bitch, wanna earn a twinkie?")
- Your Mom is really a homeless man living in iRaq, Terror. The Government does not want you to know this, so they handed you over to some fat bitch.
- Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap.
- Which you are.
- Your mom hates you.
- And she likes everyone, if you catch my drift.
- Your mom is actually Richard Simmons in disguise.
- The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to your mom.
- And of course, the motherfucker himself is
a pandayour daddy. Who's your daddy? You are, yeah think about it for awhile
- And of course, the motherfucker himself is
- Who as a matter of fact was the worst god-damn fuck I've ever had
- In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It too, will refer specifically to, your mom.
- Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation.
- Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra.
- Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping.
- Your Mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale.
- Your mom is really Bill Gates.
- Your Mom is also Tubgirl.
- Your Mom likes Sp00j cola. MY Sp00j cola.
- Your Mom is the chick from Two Girls One Cup
- Your Mom is the one in that picture you found on Craiglist that you have been jacking off to for about three weeks. Yes, the one in the "Casual Encounters" section.
- Your Mom has seen you wanking on Chat Roulette. And vice versa.
Responses to Your Mom
- My Mom's a virgin