|Catgirls, Hentai and furries, Oh my!|
This page contains catgirls, hentai and/or furries and is not safe for human consumption.
If caught reading this page, roll over and play dead.
|This article contains material related to Japanese animation and was done by an Otaku. Don't be scared by the huge eyes and enormous tits.|
“A good morning of Yuri is a great way to start any man's (or fangirl's) day.”
“Girl on girl. GREAT SEX!!!”
Yuri is a word that represents many things including: girl on girl hentai, cosmonauts and other such science things and finally people (usually from Russia) have been named Yuri.
1. Girl on Girl Hentai - Yuri
Yuri, more commonly known as girl on girl hentai, is the fickle imagination of horny asian women who have nothing better to do than to watch imaginary girls "git-r-done." The concept was originally created by Santa Claus as an idea for rewarding good little asians who do not follow the as the hippies call the orange juice.
Many of such films include, but are not limited to: girls, moms, friends, or anything relating to such topics jumbled together into a massive orgy. Most of the sound effects are off, normally leading to the idea that goats and pigs are used in the sound editing department.
When the idea was first brought to America during the Eighth Crusade of the Jewbots, most fans of regular lesbian porn discredited the idea as a fickle dream. Fortunately, the mass of immigrants from various regions of Asia and Ireland gave it life, and soon the industry was established.
Unfortunately, after the industry was established, a large number of groups (consisting mainly of menstruating moms and my third ex-girlfriend) rose up because they wanted equal rights and attention. So they did what all cranky women generally do, they opted to make a petition on petitiononline.com. Soon even more cranky hags joined them on their unholy quest. The only people to oppose them were the bums who litter the underground of Manhattan, but they were soon overpowered by the beastly breasty beings and crushed like deep-sea diver without his scuba-gear.
When the all the hags actually started taking real action, the Vikings began to hear of this pointless endeavor. And they believed in the Right to Jack Off to whatever they wanted with the exception of foot fetishes, furries, and those hot Valkyries, out of respect. For the Valkyries, that is. Feet and furries just kind of creeped them out. Unfortunately for them, most of the vikings were still fighting the war of the Vikings and ninjas. So the few remaining called upon their greater counterpart, the Space Vikings. Once the Space Vikings descended upon the earth on their Spacebikes, they found out that the vikings had no idea where they were. After about three minutes of searching on Yahoo Maps, their search led them to Soviet Russia. Or rather, Soviet Russia led them to their search. And so they clashed, and the Great Yuri War began.
The fighting went on and on for three years. But the cranky hags kept making more cranky hags, and victory was soon to slip out of the Space Viking's grasp. When all hope seemed lost, Barbarians came! Hundreds of them! They all used Great Rage, giving them +1d6 to their Strength and Constitution. Just when the tides had begun to turn, my third ex-girlfriend utilized the only two abilities in her arsenal. With her powers of ballsy shamelessness, she invited the Vikings to dinner and started to scream at them for not being committed to the relationship. Luckily Erwin the Horny was immune, stripped her naked, and raped her into unconsciousness(despite the blood. Hey, we've all been there, right lads? ... Right?) right there on the table. And she deserved it, that unfaithful whore. How's that headache now, huh, bitch?
The few Barbarians and Vikings left now had a fighting chance. The menstruation was only supposed to last a few hours, but it ended up lasting a few days. And by that time the Vikings had won. To this day their names are forgotten. But great men they were. The only problem is now, we no longer remember their names. In retrospect, that really had very little to do with Yuri.
But hey, who cares? Girl on girl, huh? Yeah. That's what I thought. So thank you, Vikings. I'm almost sure that something as cool as women making out are somehow connected to you guys.
Today, after the incredible war, yuri has a healthy part of the U.S. Government and is protected by the laws of freedom of jerking off to whatever you want, except they removed the part about furries and foot fetishes. Which could be a good or a bad thing.
Many times has it been argued as to what pair of girls are best or what would be the best pair. Even more times as to how the fuck one is able to make out with themselves or eat themselves out without actually doing it themselves. But most people were too busy utilizing it by actually jacking off to it, rather than bitching about it. This could be why none of these arguments were successful.
Other Yuri includes, but is not limited to: Furries, Cartoons, Fucked up Webcomics, and Lesbian chat rooms.
What's the meaning behind all this?
Many misguided fools think Lesbians are hot, when in reality, most look like fat soccer moms. What makes you an even bigger fool, is hitting on a hot lesbian while knowing she is a LESBIAN!
As an old fat ugly man I rely upon drawn images to sate my lust. There ain't a whole lot of lust left in the old fat body but it does arise once in awhile. I adore cute drawn faux lips planted upon young erect nipples. I also adore the lingerie upon those phony females. And, the presence of cute short pleated skirts adds to the pleasure partaken from those passionate cartoon creatures. Such a pleasure when that rare throbbing woody arises.
3. Yuri Adventures
- Not to be confused with Touhou.
“Sure, give me a second and I'll log on.”
“I used to play this game but once you get to level 15 everything starts to repeat and get boring.”
“BEST GAME EVER.”
“Waste of time, get a real game like World Of Porncraft.”
“There is only one True Yuri”
“Blaad, your in the wrong place, try Command and Conquer”
“*jacks off while watching Yuri* How the fuck did you get here? Get outta my face!”
- Yuri Adventures is a popular computer game in which the players take on the roles of female anime or manga characters who seem to all have a obvious secret (loving and often sexual) relationship with another anime or manga character. The player "interacts" with other players over a vast connection of computers through the internet. It is mainly played by 12 - 13 year olds just learning about porn and who seem to like cartoon characters whacking each other off, there is the occasional 15 or up year old who may log on but they are doing one of the following:
- a) Deleting their account to get rid of the anime porn spam in their inbox. (Deleting one's account can only be done in-game)
- b) Showing a friend(s) how ridiculous the game is for comedic purposes.
- c) They are actually playing they game and have no life, these people are most likely the outcasts at your local school which no one will talk to or the anime obsessed nerd.
- Very rarely will a female actually play the game because females are generally more into yaoi which is the complete opposite of yuri. (In yaoi the relationships are between males often depicted as straight but in this turn of events are gay and or bi-sexual) Although there are a few reasons a female may wish to play the game.
- a) They are indeed a lesbian hoping to find another lesbian who plays the game.
- b) They are indeed a lesbian who doesn’t mind that they are really having virtual sex with a male and just use the excuse “It is my character and not me.” Meaning that they consider the consider their characters as a different person and not a direct relation of self, therefore they must “role-play” that character and play make believe and pretend to be someone else.
- c) Women are cruel creatures (related to Grues) and like to make accounts on the game, go into a room with another character (which is almost always played by a male) and log out right before the climax of the “story” is to unfold.
- The game has received plenty of criticism over the years because of its lack of actual storyline, the players however do not seem to mind this. The stories consist of basic yuri elements:
- a) Sneaking away from the group of friends and doing things they shouldn’t be doing. (Kissing, Holding Hands, Engaging In Sexual Activity)
- b) Two females who cannot seem to hold their sexual wants and needs and just simply must begin to start engaging in sexual acts, often right in public areas. (Work, a bus depot, a bathroom, ect.)
- The game has received plenty of criticism over the years. It has also gained many awards such as "Hottest Game of the Year (2005)"; it also topped the world-renowned “Dragon Ball Z 3” for “Most Pointless Game of the Year (2004)”.
- All though all of the characters only resemble real characters from animes and mangas to avoid law suits, none of the characters have the same names or are exact look-a-likes. They are often just the regular character with bigger breasts and/or a change in hair or eye color, and/or a change in height/age.
So basically Yuri is some really nice shit to masterbate to.