Zesticles

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Zesty + testicles = Zesticles

Zesticles are a known form of torture for those without them, and a great and terrible weapon for those who do. Some of the select few people who do have zesticles, the Great and Mighty Shapers of Testicular Glory, include but are not limited to:



Chuck Norris Nuck Chorris Jon Kyl although he has been rumored to have given them to Jim Pederson and John Kerry via mouth to zesticle fluid swap Angus Young (Big Zesticles) Metallurgica Anti-Grue Glen Danzig Flea Teddy Roosevelt Tamia Axl Rose


Justin Timberlake Lustin' Jimbertake Wikipedia Tom from MySpace MySpace Emos George W. Bush Dick Cheney Zesticle Cheney (In spite of his name, it is a misnomer You

Where to Spot a Zesticle[edit]

Zesticles are most often seen in biker bars, metal concerts, and anywhere Chuck Norris has been sighted. Do not attempt to photograph a zesticle, as it will instantaneously blind the photographer. This is why no pictures are in this article, as several Wikipedia photographers tried, and were subsequently huffed by their Gestapo Generalissimo Leaders. Huffed mercilessly by those who did not have what they sought to see.

the Discovery of Zesticles[edit]

Zesticles were first discovered by Sir Enid Gumby of Zestshire in the Kingdom of Loathing in 1985. Jick, the Fuhrer and grand poobah of the Kingdom waged endless war with sir Gumby for six years, until he was found preoccupied with Nirvana's video for Smells Like Teen Spirit. Sir Enid rode day and night through the land to Zestshire, where he presented the first pair of these mystical organs to the elders there. He was allowed to keep them, so long as Zestshire elders Mark Foley and Ronald Reagan were allowed to see them every new year.

Zesticles Today[edit]

sadly, the number of zesticles on earth today has decreased by 50% since the rise of emo "music." It was found by a group of scientists, including Stephen Hawking and Stephen King too, for that matter, that the hearing of emo shrinks the zesticles until they no longer can function.