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Lord Pimp and King of Zion
Someone please explain this.

“Full of half naked people, Zion is. Mmmmmm.”

~ Yoda on Zion

“Oh shit!!”

~ God on the last city of mankind

Zion is a brothel deep in cyberspace in the year 30000AD when everyone has realized that God was really me and not some old white haired goat. It serves as the home ground for losers who can't beat a bunch of wimpy looking flying squids.


Zion is run on 7 giant vibrators switched on at the same time to induce auto-gyration in a fembot running on a treadmill. The brothel also holds home to Morpheus' blimp the NeverCanEver.

Species and Food[edit]

Known is for its excessive amount of Mexican and Chinese people, Zion is a centrally multi-cultural city. Although surprisingly, set in the year 30000AD, there are no aliens, wookies, ewoks, American presidents or any other non-human species present. In spite of this, Richard Nixon has been cited begging in the gutter for cornflakes.

People of Zion enjoy eating only the finest of gruel imported from Germany. However their supply is constantly running low from feeding orphans. The gruel overlord Oliver Twist is constantly pissed at orphans for asking for more. His punishment being force feeding them Tasmanian brand gruel and singing really anoying songs.

Things to do in Zion[edit]

  • See the Matrix movie tombstone
  • Ask Neo if he knows Goku, Superman or Ozzy Osbourne
  • Try to find someone who doesn't constantly blah on about bullshit philosophies
  • See the famous giant purple stuffed worm in flapjaw space, with a tuning fork, do a raw blink on Hairi Kairi Rock on Air Guitar
  • Party like there's no tomorrow (especially when there isn't)
  • Make fun of Famcake
  • pinball
  • Cut yourself cuz your emo
  • Wack off to the lady in the red dress
  • The Matrix (films)