Zobrani

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

The plural of zebra, or chair. Really the two are interchangeable, anyone who says otherwise is a mouthpiece for The Man and should be avoided at all costs, unless you have access to Zobrani, in which case you could prove the futility of there simple minded notions on reality and thus bring peace to the ever growing world.

But I digress. This duality can be seen and has been repeatedly proven by countless, and thus unnamable, sources. A zebra and a chair have never been seen together in the same small space, let alone positioned on one another. A zebra in a chair, or a chair on a zebra is simply preposterous to even consider. Thus the only logical conclusion is zebra = chair. Some would argue at this point "Hey! I've seena zebra and a chair in the same space, and I ain't da' Man!" In response to this I must say "Shut the hell up" followed by "learn some gramitarization," and finally disprove them with one simple fact. Zebras have stripes.

Here the solution to the great mysteries of the zebra-chair debate, which have plagued theorists and scholars for decades, if not years, comes into focus. Stripes are widely known as a good source of camouflage, which in turn serve to confuse potential predators by causing the prey to resemble another, less appetizing, object. This could be trees, leaves, the grasslands of Kenya, or a chair. Humans are naturally docile and subdued around chairs. It is true that many of our species may associate the chair with eating, but few consider the chair itself as the food source. Unless perhaps if you had a chair made of meat or Twinkies, and that would totally rock.

In this rapidly growing world, it is clear that the only abundant food source left to the swelling human race is the noble Zobrani. Thus this species, known for its wit and fine craftsmanship (or craftszebraship) has already beaten us in the race for survival. By mimicking one of our most trusted objects, the Zobrani have ensured their continued survival and sealed our doom. The Zobrani, zebra and chair alike, will soon rise up and destroy what remains of humanity, seizing that which is rightfully theirs. Run, and run now. And be wary of any chair you may encounter, especially if surrounded by Kenyan grasslands. Unless said chair is made of meat or Twinkies, in which case dig in!