Zombie Lenin

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Zombie Lenin ( 1924 - ) is the advanced form of Lenin, who during the 1920's was instrumental in storming the Tsar's palace along with his then-lover Stalin.

Many speculate that Zombie Lenin is the real essence of Lenin, and that his public persona was in fact an illusion projected onto a bed sheet worn over a ninja. Upon the death of Lenin from an accident involving chewing gum and a lighter, Zombie Lenin was once again free to roam out of his container. Zombie Lenin has roamed the earth since 1610. March 1, 1610 to be more precise.

Zombie Lenin appearing out of a red wall to snatch your brain!


Zombie Lenin was not born. He was, is, and always will be. Earliest documented Zombie Lenin sightings date back to 1610, which most historians now agree, may have been the date of Lenin's first incarnation. The famous historian Sylvester Stallone noted in his book How I Found Lenin and How He Found Me Back, that 60% of Zombie Lenin appears to have been made up of braincells and the remaining 40% of vodka.

While many speculate as to who his parents were, due to the fact that Zombie Lenin IS!, these "many" people were gently dissuaded from pursuing this issue further by Zombie Lenin's illegitimate son Stalin Stolichnaya.

From his very first day on Earth in the Lenin form, Zombie Lenin has made it his mission to help mankind use more than 10% of their braincells, failing which he will use 100% of theirs instead.


Zombie Lenin holds the Guinness World record for the youngest groom, having married Yoko Oh-No at the age of 11. On their nuptial night, he proceeded to devour her brains with onions. He also holds the world record for the largest number of wives in succession, having gone through 165 in his zombiehood. Little else is known of his adolescence. Some say he spent these 20 years of his life in exile, and some say he went to a desert in a bid to find Karl "the BeardSaint" Marx, only to be tempted by the snake that turned the oasis water into vodka. Many eyewitnesses say theym saw Zombie Lenin working as a roadie for Barbara Streisand during this period. Whatever the case may be, after 20 years, Zombie Lenin returned, wiser, massively hungover and bearded.