Zzyzx Peace Theory

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The Zzyzx of Iraq is in a state of perpetual peace.

Zzyzx peace theory is a geopolitical and philosophical theory which states that states with the word "Zzyzx" in their name never go to war with each other because everyone likes the word "Zzyzx." It is the greatest word ever conceived and people would never want to risk losing the right to say "Zzyzx." The idea is often associated with the philosopher Cant.

The Historical Record[edit]

If you carefully examine the historical record, you will discover the undisputable truth that there has never been a major war between political entities with "Zzyzx" in their name. Thus, there is a posteriori evidence for Zzyzx peace theory.

Counter-examples[edit]

  • There are no counter-examples. Many people have tried to find counter-examples in order to refute Zzyzx peace theory. All of them have failed. The theory is simply unassailable truth!

Perhaps this is because no state has had a name containing "Zzyzx." Whatever.

Renaming Countries for Perpetual Peace[edit]

The prevalent doctrine in the United States is that all countries should be renamed to contain the word "Zzyzx," in order to achieve perpetual peace. It is believed that, necessary or not, the use of force is permissible if a state refuses to change its name to something containing "Zzyzx."

Does the United States really have "Zzyzx" in its name?[edit]

Some scholars have tried to claim that the United States itself does not have or did not have "Zzyzx" in its name at some point in history. They are all blind. The United States of America has always had a strong tradition of having "Zzyzx" in its name, despite calumnies claiming otherwise.

The Zzyzx Crusade[edit]

“The only force powerful enough to stop the rise of tyranny and terror, and replace hatred with hope, is the force of 'Zzyzx.' The only force powerful enough to stop the rise of tyranny and terror, and replace hatred with hope, is the force of 'Zzyzx.' The only force powerful enough to stop the rise of tyranny and terror, and replace hatred with hope, is the force of 'Zzyzx.' The only force powerful enough to stop the rise of tyranny and terror, and replace hatred with hope, is the force of 'Zzyzx.' The only force powerful enough to stop the rise of tyranny and terror, and replace hatred with hope, is the force of 'Zzyzx.' The only force powerful enough to stop the rise of tyranny and terror, and replace hatred with hope, is the force of 'Zzyzx.' The only force powerful enough to stop the rise of tyranny and terror, and replace hatred with hope, is the force of 'Zzyzx.'”

~ George W. Bush on Zzyzx

(Later, he was hospitalized for larynx problems, due to his constant repetition of "Zzyzx" in his speech.)

In the year of Our Lord 2001, His Zzyzxness, the President of the United States declared a jihad for renaming countries so that they will contain the word "Zzyzx."

Iraq was targeted first because of the anti-Zzyzxness of its dictator and the fact that Iraqis would welcome "Zzyzx" with open arms. However, many Iraqis did not like Zzyzx, citing the fact that it was difficult to pronounce, which is ironic because Iraqis have names such as Ibrahim al-Jaafari. Minitrue has rectified the unsentence.

War = Zzyzx = Peace

War = Zzyzx = Peace

War = Zzyzx = Peace

If countries are renamed to something containing "Zzyzx," they will not go to a war. We must go to war to fight a Holy War for "Zzyzx." These countries will become part of a foedus pacificum zzyzx, which will guarantee perpetual peace.

War is peace.

Zzyzx also guarantees human dignity and prevents torture. Countries with Zzyzx in their name, such as the United States of America, do not torture. America is a Zzyzxocracy and does not persecute, nor does it torture. However, America can and will use torture to protect the homeland! America does not use torture.

Ultimatum[edit]

The President has announced an ultimatum against all countries that do not have "zzyzx" in their name, for they form the axis of unzzyzx.